Mother Nature, I’m looking at you suspiciously as well.

After dental surgery on Thursday, Friday and Saturday were lost somewhat to a drugged up haze of recovery and not-eating-real-food (I can’t do that whole chewing thing until next Thursday, apparently). This has put me in ridiculous catch-up mode just when I should be reading up on all the news from the two cons this weekend… So, sadly, no ‘Rama Rampage today – I’ll try and do a double-Rampage next week, if that helps heal your particular pain, you able-to-chew-so-and-sos…

As we here in the wonderful world of Blog@ celebrate twelve glorious months of Newsaramaing, it only seems to make sense that, this particular Sunday, I look back not just seven days, but 365 of them, and tell you all what what happening on the mothership back when we got started.

That said, if your name’s Dan Didio, you might want to look away now.

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Before we start properly, I’d like to take a moment to address the people who’re taking Brian Michael Bendis’s comment in this week’s Joe Fridays a little too seriously. For those who don’t keep up to date with the latest Marvel attempt to confuse people, Bendis said the following:

You will get more of Clint and his new identity and whether he keeps it or not in very recent upcoming issues. Unless he dies at the hand of Hydra leader Nick Fury at the end of #31, or Ultron might make him into a Japanese school girl, or really he’s the Beyonder, or… wait, maybe Clint could be Master Chief.

Now, here’s the thing: Bendis didn’t accidentally ruin the end of NA #31. To those who think that Nick Fury might really be revealed as the leader of Hydra at the end of that issue, I point to Avengers: The Initiative #1 and say “Do you really think that Nick Fury is going to turn out to be Marvel’s Osama Bin Laden?”

No, wait. That’s not that impossible these days, is it?

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With what may be the slowest news week since I started paying attention to how slow the news is – Seriously, beyond the announcement of DC simultaneously cashing in on 52′s success and Countdown’s brand name and the fact that that means that Adam Beechen doesn’t end up writing Teen Titans after all, the only news this week was the reaction to that Mary Jane statue, and the mothership didn’t go anywhere near that cluster-word-that-rhymes-with-muck. Well, okay, Top Cow announced that they’re going to be doing a line of prose novels which was, um, unexpected, but still – this week on the main site was, unsurprisingly, all about the interviews.

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Well, it looks like Marvel aren’t hurting for money right now, if their 1st Quarter 2007 report is anything to go by. Tuesday’s release from the Corporation of Ideas gave the mothership the chance to report that

Marvel today reported its 1st Quarter, 2007 numbers with net sales rising to $151.4 million, and net income increasing $46.8 million (56 cents a share), compared to $90.1 million and $17.5 million (17 cents a share) of the same time last year. Marvel credits licensing operations plus “increased contributions” from both comics and toys. Spider-Man 3’s minimum licensing guarantees are reflected in the numbers. Analysts were predicting nets sales of $102 million and 35 cent per share profit.

Not that that’s stopped Joe Quesada caring about fans’ budgets, as he showed in New Joe Fridays this week, answering a fan’s question about how best to spend his limited budget:

If you take on a second job, then definitely pick up the upcoming X-Men event at year’s end. Heck, how old’s the baby? Can you put him or her to work yet? Come on, Junior’s got to earn his keep!

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Yes, for the second time this year, I abandon ‘Rama Rampage for this laughable thing I call “my life”; As you read this, I’m in New York City, being exhausted and star-struck by the East Coast, and blogging is the last thing on my mind.

Well, maybe the second-last thing. Generally, I don’t tend to think about the career of Hear’Say that much.

Anyway, in my defense, not so much in the way of news happened this week with the exception of the end of 52, which led to interviews with Mark Waid, Geoff Johns, Keith Giffen and Michael Siglain, apparently trying for the interview version of Marvel’s Fallen Son move through the stages of grief. Oh, and it was Free Comic Book Day yesterday – retailer Shelton Drum gave his take on what the day means to him – and the mothership had peeks at Dynamite’s offering and an interview with Dan Slott, about his work on Marvel’s Spider-offering. Of course, the real Spider-News this week was the opening of Spider-Man 3, which got reviewed thrice on the main site, even as other Marvel movies showed off armor and named actresses.

But, like I said; I’m in New York and not thinking of any of that… Instead, I’m considering whether all those stories about New York pizza are true or not. Next week, I promise: More smart-assery like normal.

Is this the very definition of a slow news week? With the exception of our own JK Parkin’s APE report, it’s been a surprisingly quiet last seven days. I mean, when one of the most interesting stories of the week was that scientists have discovered real-life kryptonite, you know that nothing’s happening. Not that that stopped DC from trying to capitalize on the discovery, as the end of their press release about it displayed:

Despite the harmless nature of this world’s kryptonite, Superman is far from off the hook. The first storyline in the newly-launched ongoing SUPERMAN CONFIDENTIAL series, from writer Darwyn Cooke (New Frontier) and artist Tim Sale (whose work has been featured on NBC’s “Heroes”), revealed a new take on Superman’s first encounter with the malicious mineral, and how it affected a young Superman’s early career as a hero.

The mineral, which is a potential source of lithium and boron, will be put on display tomorrow at the West London museum. Reports that the mineral will be encased in lead are unconfirmed.

See how they subtly mentioned their book in there? You could hardly notice.

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Say what you like, but it’s a pretty crazy week where the news of Spider-Man 3 premiering (admittedly, in Tokyo, but still) is nothing compared with the initial news and then confirmation of Spider-Man: The Musical:

The Spider-Man musical will mark the first time a Marvel character has been the subject of a show on Broadway. In addition to co-producing the show, Hello Entertainment is arranging all financing for the project.

“Marvel continues to look to every entertainment medium to support the enduring popularity of our Super Heroes, and we are thrilled with the talent on board. The all star creative team — led by Julie Taymor, Bono and The Edge — is second to none and we are certain this project will delight fans of Spider-Man and new audiences alike,” said David Maisel, Chairman, Marvel Studios, whose previous Broadway credits include spearheading the 1999 Tony Award-winning Best Musical Fosse.

It may be the first time that a Marvel character has been the subject of a Broadway show, but not the first time a superhero has hit the lights of Broadway…

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After what seems like quite a few weeks of relative silence, DC seemed to take over Newsarama this week, whether it be interviews or news stories. In a week that showed that even the Metal Men can get a movie deal, or that DC couldn’t manage to just slip 4 more pages into the double-sized 52 final issue (Don’t get me wrong, 48 pages for $2.50 is still very nice, but still. 52 pages would’ve just been better, somehow), it was as if DC’s poor showing in the February sales figures and the fan reaction from that made Dan Didio’s crew suddenly aware of what the mothership had to offer them.

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And this week, Joe Quesada apologized for Civil War! April Fool! Instead, he stood up to Newsarama posters and snark worldwide by refusing to answer a question in this week’s Joe Fridays:

You know, ApacheDick, I would love to answer your question. But, when someone asks stuff in a rude fashion as you have by insulting creators, you couldn’t possibly expect me to answer it right? Guess what, you’re absolutely right, I’m not answering your question.

Now that should be read with a snarky tone.

It’s New Joe Badass! It’s New Joe Taking-A-Stand! It’s… oh, alright, it’s trash-talk-business-as-usual, I admit. But at least he managed to tell us how great World War Hulk is, so at least there was some point to the column. April Fools!

I promise that I’m not going to keep up the whole April Fool’s thing throughout the whole column. Honest. Apri – Oh, never mind.

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No hype, no BS, the most important episode of ‘Rama Ram – in fact, never mind. That’s even less believable coming from me than it is from Marvel.

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Is it wrong of me that I’m kind of ignoring Wizard World this weekend? I mean, yeah, sure, they’ve announced a new Booster Gold series and everything, but this is the third convention in four weeks. Isn’t that con overkill, especially considering that the same people keep showing up at each convention? I’m telling you, this time next year, March is just going to be home to one three-week long vacation called Wizard Wonderland Con: NY where Dan Didio and Joe Quesada will appear on a regular basis to tell you about the latest series they’ve got coming up that just happens to feature the words “War” or “Crisis” in the title.

Yeah, I’m in that kind of mood. Go figure.

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This week, there’s really only been one news story for the world at large: The first four issues of DC’s new Countdown series have been made fully returnable. When that announcement was made in the pages of the New York Post, the industry reacted by… Oh, alright, it wasn’t that funny, I admit. The real big story of the week after the jump, just in case people have still managed to miss what happened.

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Early theme of this week? Possibly that publishers don’t dig their retailer partners. How else to explain the fact that retailers didn’t get information on DC’s new Countdown series until after the mothership had run them (and a week after they’d received all other solicitation information for that week), or the fact that, again, the Declassified Civil War solicitations (for books shipping as soon as next month) were only released on Tuesday, months after retailers had had to place orders for the books. Luckily, other publishers can tell you all about their 2007 schedules far in advance.

(Of course, once Countdown was officially announced, DC couldn’t shut up about it – Dan Didio and Mike Marts wanted to tell you about it, and at NYCC, we were treated to – admittedly, very cool – buttons and promo images for the series.)

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As much as it may pain Dan Didio, let’s talk this week’s bookending stories, shall we?

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So far this year, comics news has been like dancing: Quick, slow, quick quick slow. Sadly, this isn’t one of those Quick weeks. When one of the more interesting stories this week was that Civil War #7 won’t be late, then you can tell that things aren’t exactly hopping.

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Let me pinpoint for you the exact moment, this week, when I wanted to destroy all comics.

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Well, now we know what happens when I complain about things being quiet.

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I have to admit, I wouldn’t have thought that it would ever get to a day when I was wishing that Joe Quesada or someone would give an interview that was so boneheaded and full of ridiculous upsetting quotes that the entire internet was aflame, but… man, did nothing happen this week?

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As the world lurched into the first five-day-workweek of the year (Surely it wasn’t just me that felt as if this was the longest week in history, right?), the Newsarama mothership lurched into another week of news and, indeed, arama. The big publishers had the spotlight again this week, but for reasons other than what they may have wanted – Civil War was delayed again, and Stephanie Fierman left DC, according to Paul Levitz. Who would want to talk about anything more than that?

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