Neil Kleid and Paul Salvi’s Action, Ohio came in second place in the Zuda competition a few months back, but now Kleid announces on his blog that the comic will return at Shadowline.com.

Kleid has quite a few irons in the fire, as well as a baby on the way in October, and unfortunately that means Shadowline’s gain is our loss … this week’s Take That! column, it turns out, is going to be his last. I want to thank Neil for contributing to the blog; while not all of his columns during his brief run were well-received, he had some that were absolutely brilliant. Best of luck with the new baby and all of your current work, and as always, Neil, you’re welcome to return anytime.

TAKE THAT received a video this morning, emailed from a mirror satellite that sent it directly to every email provider, blog and news site throughout the internet. In our efforts to warn the world, we’ve transcribed the contents of that video here. Please read and pass along. Warn the world. They’re coming.

“Hi, Super Skrull here.”

“I left my last battle with the Fantastic Four, supercharged with hate for you Earthlings and your heroes, and so I made this video. It’s a little ramble filled in places and just for clarity’s sake I’d like to simplify things a little. I think there’s a way for the glorious Skrull Empire to invade Earth, conquer it, kill your heroes and make everyone happy doing it. I don’t claim to be right, but I think there could be something to this.”

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Columnist’s Note: Due to personal issues, your intrepid author was unable to pull together this week’s column. Rather than deny you, the faithful reader, your bi-weekly dose, he’s running a column from the previous volume of TAKE THAT, formerly posted three years ago at Popcultureshock.com. He appreciates your understanding and has revised the text slightly for comedic effect. Please note that this particular column was written before the Ed Brubaker CAPTAIN AMERICA run and first appearance of the Winter Soldier and should be read in that context. Share, enjoy and return in two weeks for fresh TAKE THAT! As in the past, heartfelt thanks to Scott McCloud for allowing us to use his wonderful book, Understanding Comics, as the structure for this column. If you have yet to read Scott’s books you should be ashamed. Check out Scott’s experiments, inventions and intelligent crackpot schemes at www.scottmccloud.com. It’s a long one, too, so breathe and enjoy.

Artwork copyright Scott McCloud, 2008

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RORSHACH’S JOURNAL.
July 22nd, 2008

Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood.

No one notices. Chesty girl in Elektra costume walks by and lecherous men stop to take photos.

Accumulated filth and sex, whores and politicians, following the droppings of lechers and capitalists. They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men. Decent men who believed in a day’s work for a day’s pay.

Instead, they came to Comic-Con. Now they stand on the brink, staring into bloody hell.

Hurm.

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From: ‘Alexander Stevens (astevens@caa.com)
To: ‘Joker’ (misterj@yahoo.com)
Subject: To the future Clown Prince of Hollywood

Mister Joker,

Thank you once again for agreeing to let Creative Artists Agency help steer you through the ins and outs of Hollywood and as we embark on the grand adventure that will be Warner Bros.’ Blockbuster film, The Dark Knight. Everyone here at CAA is thrilled and excited to have you on board and we promise to work our best to serving your needs.

Though we understand that Warner’s’ dedication is to creating a franchise based on Batman, a man who understandably has stolen your spotlight, we at CAA feel the tremendous potential for building the Joker into a Hollywood brand, no less infamous than classic movie villains like Darth Vader, Hannibal Lecter and the Terminator.

We pledge to do everything in our power to represent your interests and needs throughout this project, and hopefully, beyond. Please feel free to contact me should you need anything.

Yours,

Alexander Stevens
Creative Artists Agency

P.S. – If concerned at all about slipping into bed with a large agency, having heard some of the horror stories, no fear; from what I understand a Hollywood agent is only two steps below the folks you surround yourself at Arkham – you’re already ahead of the game.

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Last survivor of a dead planet. Strange visitor to planet Earth. Hiding among us, assuming a secret identity, to protect his adopted planet. Sure – we all know the first person that springs to mind, but we’re not talking about Him. Today we pay homage to a Justice League mainstay that left us far too soon, the late, great J’onn J’onzz AKA John Jones, AKA the Martian Manhunter. Accidentally teleported to Earth by Dr. Mark Erdel, the confused alien is left to fend for himself when the scientist dies of a heart attack, leaving the Martian stranded. Using his powers to disguise his appearance, the alien adopts several human identities, including that of police detective John Jones, and eventually reveals reveals his existence to the world and becomes a charter member of the Justice League. He was the glue that held the superhero community together and this summer, he was killed by the villainous Libra and buried on his home planet, beneath the red sands of Mars.

Of course, in the DC Universe, “dead” just means you don’t have a movie franchise in circulation and eventually – months, maybe years from now – the Martian Manhunter will return.

The DC Comics Editorial Offices are a tightly patrolled stronghold of dungeon-like cubicles and heavily padlocked Batman Licensed sauna rooms, but deep within the warren of labyrinth-like halls and guard dog-like interns sits the Office of the Executive Editor of the DCU, a palatial suite filled with wonders as far as the eye can see, including the golden helmet of Nabu and the lost final issues of CHASE, CHRONOS and MONOLITH. Inside the office, on the private desk constructed from unreturned pages of Jack Kirby pencils, sits a proposal packet for the eventual triumphant resurrection of the Martian Manhunter. DC editorial reached out to some of the comic book industry’s most popular talent to see how they might make the backbone of the Justice League a saleable property.

Below are excerpts of these short proposals, reproduced for your entertainment and excitement. Please remember that these are top secret and have been brought to you at great peril to my writing career and possible future with DC Comics. Good luck, god bless.

Long Live the Martian Manhunter.

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Twitter is for staying in touch and keeping up with friends no matter where you are or what you’re doing. For some friends you might want instant mobile updates—for others, you can just check the web. Invite your friends to Twitter and decide how connected you want you to be. To Familiarize yourself with Twitter, please click here

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(cut and pasted from the Marvel Universe Twitter page. Please follow through your Twitter account to keep up to date)

drbanner Spent the day in Nevada, hiding from cops. Struggled not to lose it in local diner. Sleeping in ditch outside vegas. | 02:56 AM April 5, 2008 from phone

drbanner Last week a blur. Holed up in Austin YMCA, Vegas rebuilding. Bum stole my shoes. WILL I EVER TAME THE BEAST WITHIN? | 5:30 PM April 13, 2008 from phone

SPIDEY oh, aunt may. wheatcakes again? | 3:00 AM April 15, 2008 from web

Stark2.0 cross-post from SHIELD blog: I know nick fury hid some cohibas around this helicarrier, but where? | 6:17 AM April 15, 2008 from suit

drbanner third backpack I’ve been through this month. I can build a gamma bomb, but when it comes to mending canvas I’m the freakin Rhino | 01:09 AM April 18, 2008 from web

SPIDEY @drbanner preach, doc. Uncle ben didn’t raise me to sew costumes. One day maybe I can pawn that off on a Mrs. Spidey | 8:24 PM April 20, 2008 from web

SPIDEY Yknow I feel like I’m forgetting something | 9:15 PM April 20, 2008 from web

drbanner STUPID BACKPACK HULK SMASH | 11:31 AM April 18, 2008 from web

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Every Monday, Diamond provides the comic book industry with a list of products shipping for the current week, as well as those products expected to ship the following week! It’s everything you love, everything you hate, and everything you have to read again. A look forward to the one list that’ll rock your week… this is Best Shipping List Ever.

Up This Week - The following products are expected to ship to comic book specialty stores on Wednesday, June 4th. This list is tentative and subject to change (Please check with your retailer for availability) and many items have been moved around, eliminated and commented upon for purposes of parody and hilarity. The complete list can be found here.

Here’s what comic book publishers are offering YOU this week:

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DC_B0y LIVES!
Speaker of Truths! Righter of Wrongs!

Date: 1997-11-02 19:20
First Day

Ok, so I’ve been doing this job for a while now, but have to say, I finally feel like I’m REALLY here. You know know how you grow up loving the Rolling Stones, and wondering how in the hell they get Mick Jagger into the leather pants and Keith Richards off the ventilator long enough to ROCK, but then you find out it’s just a group of leathery Brits who do the same thing thousands of times over and over again? You dream of a place for so long but then you get there and it’s nothing like what you want it to be? That’s not this. This is way opposite of that. People here in the Watchtower DO what I hoped they did, and now I’M actually part of it! I feel like I have a voice. It’s crazy weird and I can’t believe it’s real…

Add a comment | Read comments (52) | Send a message | Permalink | View trackbacks (0) | Blog it | Hobbies

Date: 1997-11-07 11:32
KR

Green Lantern rocks so much. I can’t wait to see what you guys think of him!! Yeah, there’s some stuff you may not really get or agree with, like that he’s going from zero to hero with no experience, but he’s had some pretty awesome moments. And, hell, he’s one of those dudes who respects the history and did his homework (unlike some people, Guy Gardner, who never invites me to his Warriors poker game!)

Ugh. It keeps raining real rain and no giant starfish. This is the freaking Justice League - It should rain GIANT STARFISH!!!!

The annual JLA/JSA retreat/extradimensional fight is coming up. I don’t get to go, but people who do always tell us what went down, esp if it sucked. Good times.

Add a comment | Read comments (52) | Send a message | Permalink | View trackbacks (0) | Blog it | Hobbies

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Nighttime in New York; a time when all things are possible. The nine-to-fivers scurry home in cabs and trains, heading for the precarious safety of Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, the ‘burbs. In Manhattan, however, no one is safe from the pull of the lights, the call of the nightclubs, the cool, dim recesses of posh restaurants with highly priced sirloin and highly valued privacy. Thankfully, for those who fear for their safety, there’s a well-tailored hero to protect us all.

Lounging in the back room of Pride, one such upscale bistro on West 53rd Street, around the corner from the Zeigfeld Theatre where story-high posters advertise his gold-and-scarlet plated face, multi-millionaire Anthony Stark surveys his protectorate with a speculator’s eye. Every booth contains a subject, every table an adventure. Stark, through various multi-national conglomerates has a very real stake in each and every seat; Stark International owns the restaurant. With a smirk on his face and a reasonably priced glass of mineral water in his hand, Stark looks like the cat planning to eat the canary — and who can blame him? He controls the largest corporation in the world, directs a private organization of well-armed secret agents, leads a powerful team of flashy, sexy, well-dressed superheroes and spends his days soaring through the air in what can only be described as a one-man guided missile, though a one-man guided missile with style. He’s also the subject of the summer’s most-anticipated blockbuster movie, already the second largest first-day debut for a non-sequel in box office history. On May 2nd, IRON MAN soared into movie theaters across America and around the corner from the Zeigfeld’s long lines and rave reviews, Tony Stark surveys his protectorate and dubs it good. TAKE THAT sat down with the cocky financier for a face-to-face to learn about the life, secrets and much-abused theme song of Iron Man.
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