And this is why I find myself wishing that Dan Slott would go further with his Spidey plans:
If I wasn’t afraid of losing the book, at the next Marvel Retreat, when going over Spidey plans for 2013, w/ a very straight face I’d say:
“Spider-Man gets a new sidekick. A parrot. It’s with him all the time. So make sure if Spider-Man appears or guest-stars in any of your books that he has his parrot with him. The parrot doesn’t have any powers per se, but it does cause extra complications. Especially, at one point, when Mary Jane says, ‘But what if they find out that Spider-Man is really Peter Parker?’ And the parrot keeps repeating, ‘Spider-Man is really Peter Parker’– everywhere they go. I really think this could work.”
I’d try to keep this up as long as possible. Partly to see how long it would take for people to kill it. And partly to see if any of the retreat regulars would say (and, from experience, these are my best guesses), “Does it have to be a parrot?” “Could it be a monkey?” “WAIT! I’ve got it! It should be the EXACT OPPOSITE of a parrot! It should be a… torrap.” “Logically, it should be a spider, right?” “I think that Mary Jane scene, where she says ‘Peter Parker is Spider-Man’ I think that works better if it happens over in my book. It’d be more organic that way.”
But the real telling thing would be the ONE person who’d say, “Parrot? That’s a GREAT idea. You should run with that!” Because THAT would be the person I’d have to keep an eye out for. THAT’D be the guy who’s ready to push me under the bus.
Spider-Parrot could be the Spider-Mobile of tomorrow.