Although Marvel is going ahead with Fear Itself #7.1, 7.2 and 7.3 to tie up loose ends from this week’s big finale to the crossover event, there’s one scene in particular that I feel as if we were robbed of. And so, begging your kind indulgences, may I present a short script I call Fear Itself #7.4:
INT, BAXTER BUILDING
PANEL ONE
In the foreground, THE THING enters wearing his FF costume while REED RICHARDS and CAPTAIN AMERICA look on, surprised.
REED: BEN!
THING: Hey, guys. What did I miss?
PANEL TWO
An ecstatic REED stretches his arm around THING’s shoulder, while CAP looks skeptical.
CAP: Ben, we thought you were DEAD after your fight with Thor –!
THING: Uh, yeah…
REED: You’re back to your pre-hammer form, which must have meant that, when the Serpent fell, your hammer was also mysteriously pulled into the sky and you transformed back to your true self with all physical damage undone. FASCINATING!
THING: Well, not exactly, Stretcho…
PANEL THREE
As panel two, but now REED looks as upset as CAP.
THING: Y’see, I was kinda dyin’, but then FRANKLIN used his powers and just changed me back…
REED: Franklin’s powers are BACK?
CAP: Franklin could UNDO the Serpent’s TRANSFORMATIONS? Why didn’t anyone TELL me this?
THING: Don’t blame me, I was kinda… Actually, I dunno where I disappeared to for the last couple’a issues.
PANEL FOUR
Dramatic shot of CAP. He’s orating, which is what he does all the time.
CAP: We had a way of CHANGING the Worthy BACK? And no-one knew anything about it?
REED (Off-panel): Well, I didn’t think he had POWERS again, no-one’s mentioned it to ME even in my OWN BOOK…
CAP: So, you’re meaning to say that it was POINTED OUT that we had a way to STOP the Worthy ALL ALONG? Thor didn’t have to DIE? Tony didn’t have to start DRINKING AGAIN? I didn’t have to start shooting rifles at flying Nazi robots? FRANKLIN COULD HAVE MAGICKED IT ALL AWAY ALL ALONG?
PANEL FIVE
THING, shrugging his shoulders, winking at the reader.
THING: Well, sure. But THEN what would we have done with the last couple issues? Explained what the whole thing has to do with FEAR in the first place?
CAPTION: The Ever-Lovin’ End, True Believers!
October 21st, 2011 at 9:17 am
Um…should I be glad I haven’t read FI yet?
October 21st, 2011 at 10:44 am
This sums up me thoughts on Fear Itself perfectly.
October 21st, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Yeah, OK, I’ll bite. The reason Franklin couldn’t change the other Worthy back like he did the Thing was because they weren’t comatose with giant gaping holes in their chests, and would therefore swat him away like a bug before he had a chance to get his deus ex machina mojo going. Maybe in your next article you can make fun of one of the actual problems in Fear Itself? It’s not like there aren’t plenty to choose from.
October 21st, 2011 at 8:50 pm
@Trevor. Matt Fraction says “thanks Trevor, I couldn’t have done it without your help!”
October 22nd, 2011 at 7:03 am
All’s well that ends well.
October 24th, 2011 at 12:40 am
“Although Marvel is going ahead with Fear Itself #7.1, 7.2 and 7.3 to tie up loose ends….”
If Fraction can’t tell the complete story in 7 issues, maybe the miniseries should’ve been 8, 9, or 10 issues long instead of 7 (with the additional .1 issues)?
Gimmicks like this .1 nonsense are causing me to drop books, along with 3.99 cover prices, event books that aren’t particularly eventful, and stories told in long arcs which just as easily could’ve been told in more economically written, smaller arcs.
And Marvel and DC have the balls to wonder why people steal their books online.