Nate Cosby should write everything.
Okay, maybe that’s not exactly true; he’s probably got his hands full with the upcoming Image series Pigs, as well as Cow Boy for Archaia and putting together the Storyteller anthology (with all manner of incredible creators including Roger Langridge, Colleen Coover, Katie Cook and Paul Tobin, amongst many others). But on his NateCosBOOM blog, he’s been sharing his takes on existing superheroes in the forms of imaginary quotes from them under the “[Character X] (If I wrote [Character X])” banner, and… well, they’re all really rather great. For example, Superman:
I was eight. Pa was working the field, he’d been up since four. The tractor ran over this root, messed up the blade he was dragging. Pa’s not an angry man, but he doesn’t like anything going wrong in his field. He jumped down and kicked the root, cursed at it. Angriest I’d ever seen him. I wanted him to stop being upset, so I ran over there, grabbed the root. I yanked so hard it tore up about fifty feet of the field. I tossed a root that probably weighed a thousand pounds about three hundred yards. Then I looked at Pa. That’s when he knew I was different.
Air is overrated. In the water I feel everything. Every fish, every crab, every boat, every kid splashing on the beach. I feel it because the ocean sings to me. It is my home, my calm, my all. Do whatever you want with your little islands. I’ve got an entire world underneath you, and I’ll protect her until saltwater stops pumping through my lungs.
I hate Nazis and crime and I don’t mind crashing. So I strap a rocket to my back and pray God’s not ready to see me just yet.
Evan Shaner even drew up his take on Captain Marvel, and I have no idea who wouldn’t want to see this kind of thing on a monthly basis:
I say it again: Nate Cosby should write everything. Or, at least, publishers should at least ask him to.