Well, at least someone is paying attention to the important things about this summer’s superhero movie onslaught: New York Magazine’s Vulture blog wonders “How Vulnerable Are Superheroes’ Crotches?“:
This summer’s wave of superheroes — Thor, Captain America, Green Lantern, and the First Class X-Men — will all be sporting the crime-fighting fashion of choice: tight outfits made of leather or spandex, cape optional. While flashy and brandable, these costumes also have a practical purpose: Their tight fits allow freer movements and better intimidation through flexed biceps. And yet, there is one very impractical downside to this tradition: flimsy to nonexistent groin protection. And evil has no better ally than a wide-open crotch!
Seriously? There’s no better ally than a wide-open crotch? Nonetheless, unsurprisingly, Seth Rogen’s Green Hornet turns out to be the hero in the worst crotch-related danger, with Chris Helmsworth’s Thor apparently the safest. Please, no “That’s because the hammer is his penis” jokes.