As you know, we’ve been checking in with iconic heroes (of more than one world) to see what they think about the Halloween costumes based on their likenesses. As it turns out, it was a little bit difficult to get this next meeting, but we managed to pull it off. We sat down with Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern John Stewart, and The Flash for a lively discussion.
NRAMA: Thank you again for your time.
Superman: Don’t mention it. I always have time for our friends in the press.
NRAMA: I have to admit, I wasn’t sure it would work out.
Flash: Yeah, well, we’ve had trouble with writers for a while.
GL: Wally . . .
Flash: What? Too inside?
NRAMA: Well, Flash, since it looks like you came to talk, let’s start with you.
Flash: Hit me.
GL: You won’t see a scarier costume this season.
Wally: He’s right. Seeing that’s giving me flashbacks. Ha! Flash . . . see what I did there?
Wonder Woman: I think it’s darling.
(All stare)
Wonder Woman: I can say darling.
Flash: Aw, that makes me nostalgic. Y’know, I wore that as a kid before the yellow and red.
GL: Did they call you Little Barry?
Superman: Hal did.
Flash: Oh yeah, “Uncle Hal” and his funny nicknames. Just ask Tom Kalmaku about it.
GL: I heard that.
Flash: Okay, the kids were cute, but that guy looks kinda like–
GL: The fastest douchebag alive?
Superman: Guys, there are kids reading.
Wonder Woman: Kids don’t read comics, Kal.
Superman: Diana, I know that you’re still adjusting to our culture after only, let’s see, 70 YEARS, but kids read comic books.
Wonder Woman: Which ones? The one by the detective novelist where I killed Maxwell Lord, or the one by the lawyer novelist with–
GL: Can we not go there?
Superman: Fine. Let’s just keep it clean, gang.
Flash: He does kinda look like a douchebag, though.
NRAMA: Excuse me, uh, League, but I wanted to see what you thought of the Flash costumes for the ladies?
Flash: They look like ElectraWoman and DynaGirl.
GL: Who were they?
Flash: They were in a crappy live-action super-hero show in the ’70s.
GL: Like Hal and Barry?
Flash: NICE! High five!
Superman: John, I expect better of you.
GL: Why? Because I’m a credit to my people?
Superman: I meant humanity! Say something to a guy ONE time . . .
Wonder Woman: I don’t like these costumes. I’m not really fond of basing your costumed identity on a man.
Flash: You know what you could learn from a man’s outfit?
Wonder Woman: What’s that?
Flash: Pants.
NRAMA: Ooooohhhhkaaaaay, on to GL.
GL: That is one adorable kid.
Flash: He has your old hair.
GL: Can I mention that I love the fact that the kids costumes all look like MY outfit and not . . . someone else’s?
Flash: Seconded.
Flash: Uh-oh.
GL: What the hell is this shit?
Superman: John!
GL: I’m sorry, Kansas, but take a look. What’s this supposed to say? That I wanted to grow up to be Hal Jordan? That’s–
Flash: Insensitive? Demeaning? Racist?
GL: I should call my lawyer.
NRAMA: Hey, where did Superman go?
Flash: He’ll be back. He always takes off whenever anyone mentions “lawyers”.
NRAMA: GL, I actually have one more.
GL: Arisia?! Seriously?!
Wonder Woman: Is that Arisia’s? It seems too . . .
Flash: Odd of a choice?
Wonder Woman: Tasteful.
NRAMA: Ah, great. Superman’s back. How about you?
Superman: Sure.
Superman: Awww . . .
Flash: Look how cute! Are you going to abandon his mother now?
Superman: Wally, stop bringing up that stupid movie.
Flash: What, you mean SuperbabydaddystalkercryptoJesusimage Returns?
Wonder Woman: I think it’s lovely, Kal. He’s beautiful, just like any children we, uh, you and Lois might have.
Superman: That’s darn cute.
Flash: Just don’t give him a piano. He’ll kill somebody!
GL: Want me to ring him up a gag?
Flash: Hey! That’s using the ring for personal gain!
GL: Remind me to tell you about Guy and the Halloween Party.
Wonder Woman: They kind of look . . . the same.
Superman: I had our la . . . la . . . uh, legal representation . . . get rid of the ones from that stupid movie.
Flash: Okay, so the Flash girl outfits were goofy, but yours are kinda vanilla.
Wonder Woman: He’s right, Kal. Did they make a Kara?
Superman: I did NOT approve that.
Flash: Two. Syllable. DAMN!
Superman: Wally!
GL: Give it up, Kal. Wally’s right. I have totally gone violet.
Superman: What?
GL: The Emotional Spectrum?
Superman: I don’t get it.
GL: Nevermind.
Flash: Enough of this. Where’s the Wonder Woman line-up?
Wonder Woman: Hera help me.
Superman/Flash/GL: BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Wonder Woman: Stop that! She’s a doll.
Flash: With pants!
Wonder Woman: She’s cute, too!
Flash: You can almost hear her say, “I gonna fowce peace by hitting you in the face!”
NRAMA: Okay, here’s one young girl option . . .
Wonder Woman: I quite like this. It sends a good message.
GL: What’s that? Freedom is tying people up so that they tell the truth?
Wonder Woman: It’s a weapon of the gods, John. Without my lasso, tiara, and bracelets, I can still lift small buildings. WITH your ring, you could carry a solo book 18 months.
GL: That was cold.
Wonder Woman: What the hell?
Superman: Great. Now SHE’S swearing.
Flash: That. is. bright.
GL: That. is. hideous.
Wonder Woman: Agreed. This, THIS, is what tailors think of young ladies? That they’re subject to whims of a pageant culture instead of embracing the feminine power of the Amazon way? I should–
Flash: Come to America and disguise yourself as a nurse to be close to an unconscious man that you’ve never talked to?
Wonder Woman: I should see the next costume.
Wonder Woman: Well, now. That one has a modicum of dignity.
Wonder Woman: And that one does not.
Flash: That kinda looks like that Playboy cover.
Wonder Woman: Do not mention that doddering senior and his harem of televised sister-wives in my presence.
Flash: What about Batman? Where’s his?
NRAMA: Uh . . .
Flash: What?
NRAMA: Uh, there are so many costumes based on Batman, his sidekicks and his enemies that he gets his own feature.
Superman: Oh.
(silence)
Wonder Woman: It’s okay, Kal.
Superman: Everyone loves Batman.
Flash: He has better movies.
Superman: Hey!
Flash: You have to admit . . . he’s like 4-2 and you’re, what, 2-3? You’re mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
GL: At least he’s a got a movie.
Wonder Woman: I heard that.
October 27th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I like these articles.
In the movie standings, I have Superman at 3-2 (Superman Returns may not have been as good as it should have been but it wasn’t actually bad) and Batman at 3-3 (I assume it’s Batman Returns we disagree about). I suppose I could bring Batman up to 4-3 with the movie from the ’60s, but then we should also bring in Superman and the Mole Men, which I haven’t seen yet.
October 27th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
yeah, i’m gonna go with Matthew’s count as well…and that’s only if i use the Donner cut for Superman 2. :p
but most of the jokes here were pretty funny. and sometimes that’s all you can hope for.
October 27th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Is that a Purple Lantern Wonder Woman costume or something?
October 27th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Man that last Wonder Woman costume is pretty slutty. Looks more like lingerie than a Halloween costume. I like that Hal Jordan outfit but the rest of the men’s outfits… not so much. All the female ones are hot though. And that baby Superman is really cute. When I have a kid i’m so hooking him up with the Superman outfit his first Halloween. Poor Supes just don’t get any respect anymore from the Justice League.
October 27th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
I’d actually like to see someone illustrate this conversation…too funny!
October 27th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Y’know, I’ve seen that adult Superman picture in some local ads, and it looks like a guy in a MEGO Superman figure, right down to the exact same ‘S’ logo!
October 27th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
These are great fun! Keep it up!
October 27th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
“Flash: Look how cute! Are you going to abandon his mother now?”
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
October 27th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Umm, I own that GL costume. That’s cool, right?
The male version, a$$holes.
–J.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Funniest. One. YET!!!!
October 27th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
@ Matthew E ,
Come one, how can you rate Batman Returns as bad!?
October 27th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
These have been great!
Nice job!
October 27th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
These have been very funny. I look forward to the bat-Family feature
October 27th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
This made me lol alot. Thanks.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Love it! Can’t wait for the Bat family!
October 27th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
I love these. They’re hilarious.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
SuperbabydaddystalkercryptoJesusimage Returns? Perfect!
October 27th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Hilarious! I love the whole superman-lawyer thing.
October 27th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Flash: Look how cute! Are you going to abandon his mother now?
Superman: Wally, stop bringing up that stupid movie.
Flash: What, you mean SuperbabydaddystalkercryptoJesusimage Returns?
AWESOME!!! Best passage in the whole thing. This was every bit as good as the Watchmen segment, Troy. Thanks for doing these!
October 27th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
People will disagree with me, but really Batman in the movies is more like 2-4, with the two Nolan movies for the wins.
We (mostly) all liked the 1989 movie in its time, but have you seen that thing lately? I saw it two years ago, for the first time in over a decade, and it’s pretty lousy. Watchable, but lousy. The second Burton/Keaton movie was even worse. Bats is actually 3-4, if you count the Adam West movie… It’s stupid, sure, but taken in the context of the TV show it’s still goofy fun and I like it. Better than the Burton or Schumacher films.
That’s still better than Supes though… He’s 1-4, and I just barely put the 1978 movie in the “W” column. Chris Reeve was great, of course, but I never understood the way Luthor was written. The movie also loses points for the dull, plodding, Krypton segments, and for having Supes reverse time by making Earth spin backwards.
I do NOT blame Donner, however, for inspiring Bryan Singer to make his crappy movie almost 30 years later. Who could’ve known?
October 27th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
I laughed my @$$ off at this article…then laughed even harder at:
“Umm, I own that GL costume. That’s cool, right?
The male version, a$$holes.”
Thanks for the laugh fellas…keep up the good work.
October 27th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
My girlfriend actually agreed to dress in the Arisia costume, if I bought it.
FOR HALLOWEEN, people. Jeez!
…mostly.
October 27th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Thanks another great article!!!!!!!!
October 27th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Russ, mine did the same. If I could just find a GL ring, I’d go through with it. Darn me and my need for accuracy.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:29 am
“Great. Now SHE’S swearing.”
I love these things! Can’t wait to hear what Bruce has to say. I hope Dick, Tim, Barbara and Damian are allowed to sit in with him. I know Damian is unlikely to have his own costumes, but I bet he’d have some real zingers for the others’.
October 28th, 2009 at 5:34 am
Can’t stop laughing.
Great stuff.
October 28th, 2009 at 6:54 am
Wonder Woman: I think it’s lovely, Kal. He’s beautiful, just like any children we, uh, you and Lois might have.
Superman: Great. Now SHE’S swearing.
Wonder Woman: Do not mention that doddering senior and his harem of televised sister-wives in my presence.
GL: What the hell is this shit?
Flash: Come to America and disguise yourself as a nurse to be close to an unconscious man that you’ve never talked to?
Too many LOL lines. Thanks and the images of the kids are soo cute.
October 28th, 2009 at 8:15 am
the wonderwoman one is awful so inaccurate. How come all the others are ok
October 28th, 2009 at 8:56 am
GL: What the hell is this shit?
Had me in tears!
Best one yet. You really got them down.
October 28th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Craig Hewitt Says:
October 27th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
I’d actually like to see someone illustrate this conversation…too funny!
I agree! Can you see what Kevin Maguire or Amanda Conner could do with this conversation??
This was utterly hilarious! And I’m torn – was it Flash or GL who got the best lines?!
October 28th, 2009 at 9:30 am
“NRAMA: I have to admit, I wasn’t sure it would work out.
Flash: Yeah, well, we’ve had trouble with writers for a while.
GL: Wally . . .
Flash: What? Too ‘inside’?”
…too funny…
October 28th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Poor Wonder Woman.
October 28th, 2009 at 10:49 am
best one yet (and the others were pretty good); bring on the bats
October 28th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Funny stuff.
October 28th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Yes, these are very funny, and a great treat for us all. Thanks, Troy!
Looks like one or more Superman costumes got left out, though. Where are the “plain vanilla” Supergirl/woman costumes referred to before the Kara-style one?
And Thrillhouse, you CAN get very nice Green Lantern rings. I won’t mention the company’s name, but they have a whole bunch of different styles that they show on eBay. And they’re legit–real silver, licensed by DC. (They’ve got rings for other chracters too.) My wife’s color is emerald, so I bought us a matching set. If you really want a GL ring, check ‘em out!
October 28th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
Oh wow…I was crying…the last Wonder Woman costume is un-freakin believable, did DC actually green light that thing?
and the purple…my sentiments are with Diana…wth????
Seriously, thank you for the bringing a tear to my eye…(…even WITH a ring couldn’t carry 18 issues solo…THAT was cold) Classic.
October 29th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Thanks for using Wally BTW, you guys rock for that alone. And the rest, hilarious!
October 29th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I bought my wife the Supergirl outfit last year.
Best damn purchase I ever made.