Comic book movies have been big business for Hollywood for years now, and the trend won’t be stopping anytime soon. At this rate, even Forbush Man will be optioned for a trilogy. (Hey, he was created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, y’know.) Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon’s Preacher is in development (again), and since we’ve already talked about who should be cast in that film adaptation, why not do a little fantasy casting for Ennis’s current project (with the always awesome as hell Darick Robertson), The Boys?
Billy Butcher: Clive Owen
When you want a tough, rugged, charming, British leading man capable of kicking ass and taking names, who do you go to? The name at the top of my list is Golden Globe-winner and Oscar-nominee Clive Owen, who showed his action star chops in movies like Sin City and Shoot ‘Em Up, and has the charisma and good looks to play the smooth-talking leader of the Boys. (Just ask your girlfriend.)
Wee Hughie: Simon Pegg
Well, duh. The character is based on him. Why shouldn’t Simon Pegg be in the movie?
Mother’s Milk: Craig Robinson
This scene-stealer from the American version of The Office is the perfect choice to play Butcher’s right-hand man. Besides looking like Mother’s Milk, he’s a great comedic actor who also has an imposing presence, which would be a major asset for a dark comedy like The Boys.
The Frenchman: Georges “Rush” St. Pierre
The Frenchman is crazy as hell, and has a certain taste for “a bit of the old ultra-violence”. If you’ve ever watched any of Georges St. Pierre’s battles in the octagon, then you know that the current UFC welterweight champion also enjoys smashing in people’s heads. And besides looking like the Frenchman’s mirror image, GSP is from Quebec, and is fluent in English and French. I seriously doubt you’ll find a better choice for the role.
The Female of the Species: Ellen Page
Sure, we all know the petite Canadian as Kitty Pryde in X-Men 3 and from her Oscar-nominated role in Juno. So she’s got the whole cute ingenue thing down pat. But for the silent, merciless, viciously homicidal Female, this movie would need someone who looks innocent, but can convey an intensity that would make you wet your pants. If you’ve seen Page in Hard Candy or The Tracey Fragments, then you know she’s multi-dimensional enough to convincingly play a hardcore psychopath. Besides, every movie would be 1000 times better with Ellen Page in the cast, and you know it. (Yes, I know the Female is Asian, but it’s never been an essential part of her character, so I think we can let it slide in this case.)
The Supporting Cast:
Starlight/Annie: Kaley Cuoco
On the excellent sitcom The Big Bang Theory, Cuoco plays the sexy, funny, and kindhearted (literal) girl next door, Penny. Hughie’s girlfriend, Annie, a.k.a.the superheroine Starlight, is a sexy, funny, kindhearted girl next door, too.
The Homelander: Ryan Reynolds
Reynolds is in damn near every other superhero movie now, so why the hell not?
The Legend: Jerry Stiller
Comedy legend Jerry Stiller practically invented the loud, curmudgeonly, yet slightly endearing old man character through his roles in Seinfeld and The King Of Queens. Sounds to me like the perfect person to Legend.
Susan Rayner: Heather Locklear
CIA Director Susan Rayner is a blond, sexy, woman of authority, kinda like Heather Locklear in her role in the Spin City TV series.
So what do you think, faithful readers?