Comic book movies have been big business for Hollywood for years now, and the trend won’t be stopping anytime soon. At this rate, even Forbush Man will be optioned for a trilogy. (Hey, he was created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, y’know.) Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon’s Preacher is in development (again), and since we’ve already talked about who should be cast in that film adaptation, why not do a little fantasy casting for Ennis’s current project (with the always awesome as hell Darick Robertson), The Boys?
Billy Butcher: Clive Owen
When you want a tough, rugged, charming, British leading man capable of kicking ass and taking names, who do you go to? The name at the top of my list is Golden Globe-winner and Oscar-nominee Clive Owen, who showed his action star chops in movies like Sin City and Shoot ‘Em Up, and has the charisma and good looks to play the smooth-talking leader of the Boys. (Just ask your girlfriend.)
Wee Hughie: Simon Pegg
Well, duh. The character is based on him. Why shouldn’t Simon Pegg be in the movie?
Mother’s Milk: Craig Robinson
This scene-stealer from the American version of The Office is the perfect choice to play Butcher’s right-hand man. Besides looking like Mother’s Milk, he’s a great comedic actor who also has an imposing presence, which would be a major asset for a dark comedy like The Boys.
The Frenchman: Georges “Rush” St. Pierre
The Frenchman is crazy as hell, and has a certain taste for “a bit of the old ultra-violence”. If you’ve ever watched any of Georges St. Pierre’s battles in the octagon, then you know that the current UFC welterweight champion also enjoys smashing in people’s heads. And besides looking like the Frenchman’s mirror image, GSP is from Quebec, and is fluent in English and French. I seriously doubt you’ll find a better choice for the role.
The Female of the Species: Ellen Page
Sure, we all know the petite Canadian as Kitty Pryde in X-Men 3 and from her Oscar-nominated role in Juno. So she’s got the whole cute ingenue thing down pat. But for the silent, merciless, viciously homicidal Female, this movie would need someone who looks innocent, but can convey an intensity that would make you wet your pants. If you’ve seen Page in Hard Candy or The Tracey Fragments, then you know she’s multi-dimensional enough to convincingly play a hardcore psychopath. Besides, every movie would be 1000 times better with Ellen Page in the cast, and you know it. (Yes, I know the Female is Asian, but it’s never been an essential part of her character, so I think we can let it slide in this case.)
The Supporting Cast:
Starlight/Annie: Kaley Cuoco
On the excellent sitcom The Big Bang Theory, Cuoco plays the sexy, funny, and kindhearted (literal) girl next door, Penny. Hughie’s girlfriend, Annie, a.k.a.the superheroine Starlight, is a sexy, funny, kindhearted girl next door, too.
The Homelander: Ryan Reynolds
Reynolds is in damn near every other superhero movie now, so why the hell not?
The Legend: Jerry Stiller
Comedy legend Jerry Stiller practically invented the loud, curmudgeonly, yet slightly endearing old man character through his roles in Seinfeld and The King Of Queens. Sounds to me like the perfect person to Legend.
Susan Rayner: Heather Locklear
CIA Director Susan Rayner is a blond, sexy, woman of authority, kinda like Heather Locklear in her role in the Spin City TV series.
So what do you think, faithful readers?
July 13th, 2009 at 6:25 am
Butcher: Clive Owen
The Frenchman: Vincent Cassel
The Female: Chiaki Kuriyama
Annie/Starlight: Melissa George
Mother’s Milk: Chad Coleman
Homelander: Jon Hamm
July 13th, 2009 at 6:31 am
Always thought Clive Owen has effete lips, myself.
July 13th, 2009 at 10:49 am
The Frenchman: Vincent Cassel
Well, he has the acting experience that GSP lacks, but I don’t think I could look at this guy’s face for 90+ minutes. He’s not a very aesthetically appealing man, though I give him props for marrying Monica Belucci. Besides, GSP, despite his lack of acting experience, would actually be a bigger box office draw, I think. Still, that’s a good pick.
The Female: Chiaki Kuriyama
I hate to admit it, because I loves me some Ellen Page, but… you got me on this one. Gogo Yubari would be absolutely perfect as the Female.
Annie/Starlight: Melissa George
At just shy of 33, she’s too old for the part. And she’s Australian–Annie is meant to be the young, All-American girl next door.
Mother’s Milk: Chad Coleman
Never heard of the guy or seen him act, but I looked him up on ye old faithful Wikipedia, and he certainly looks the part. Another good one, mate.
Homelander: Jon Hamm
Another good pick.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:33 am
“(Yes, I know the Female is Asian, but it’s never been an essential part of her character, so I think we can let it slide in this case.)”
None of the characters, save for maybe Frenchie, have their ethnicity as an essential part of their character, except for the fact that it is actually part of their character and just as important as everything else. Just because she hasn’t had to fight racists or whatever doesn’t mean it isn’t essential, any more than Mother’s Milk or Wee Hughie’s race isn’t essential.
July 13th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
You make some very good points. In fact, I feel kind of like an idiot for what I wrote. And, to make me feel like more of an idiot, I honestly didn’t realize until the last issue that the Female was Asian. I guess I just didn’t pay that much attention to Robertson’s art. That and the fact that Ennis really hasn’t bothered to develop her as a character yet made me feel as if her ethnicity was moot.
July 15th, 2009 at 12:45 am
I always recognized Female’s ethnicity was Asian, but I disagree that her ethnicity has nothing to do with what little character has been shown so far in The Boys. However, I never really thought it was of any relevance to the uber story in general, other than her playing the typically “silent” role of the “quiet asian”–with a hugely violent spin. I agree, though, that her lack of character development has made the topic of her ethnicity moot since she really hasn’t exuded anything other than another mystery seemingly waiting to be explored by Garth Ennis.
Even though I’m a fan of Ellen Page, and can see why she’d make a good Female, I don’t really see that serious violence in her that I can see in other actresses. Specically asian-american ones that have the ‘crazy asian woman’ thing down pat, like say Julia Ling (Chuck) or Jeon Ji-hyun (Blood: The Last Vampire).
January 17th, 2011 at 6:24 pm
greetings, I just wanted to comment and say that I was really impressed with your blog. Keep up the good work! You are a really talented writer and it shows