The above panel is a portion of one from this week’s Justice Society of America #28, written and pencilled by Jerry Ordway and inked by Bob Wiacek. You can’t tell by the way I cropped it, but The Spectre III there is drawing a portal in the air with his left hand, in order to transport the various JSA members with him. Power Girl notes that she hopes they’re not going too far, or else she’ll wish she’d have gone to the bathroom first.
Which naturally got me thinking—Holy crap, I bet it’s hard to go to the bathroom when you’re wearing a superhero costume! And Power Girl has got it super-rough.
A lot of superhero costumes seem like they’d be awfully cumbersome to get in and out of enough to, um, go, but some have it a lot easier than others. The Flash and Superman have such remarkable speed they can probably zip back to their home bathrooms and back without anyone even noticing. Iron Man has a system built into his suit, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Batman, who thinks of everything, probably has a catheter system built in to his costume which leads to a bottle hidden in his utility belt. As for Aquaman, I’m pretty sure he used to just say he had to be immersed in sea water every half hour just so he could go in the water.
But poor Power Girl! First, her costume is a one-piece thing, so I guess he has to wriggle out of the neck hole, or maybe there’s a zipper in the back of front for getting undressed…? Either way, seh’s gotta take her whole costume off to pee. And that cape probably doesn’t help matters; that’s gotta go before she can sit down, right? And I imagine she’d want to take the gloves off too. What a pain! Power Girl really needs a two-piece suit, akin to Wonder Woman’s.
You know who else probably has a hard time relieving himself?( Well yes, Penance. I’m pretty sure he just wears an adult diaper now though). Spider-Man. His costume is two peices, so he doesn’t have to take the whole think off every time he has to pee—and with all those stops at the cofee bean, he probably has to go constantly—but where does he go to pee? Does he swing back to his apartment every time? Because he can’t really use public restrooms in his Spider-Man costume, not being a wanted man and everything, and he’d certainly be vulnerable just, like, swinging in to the men’s restroom at a restaurant or the public library or something. Sure, he could always find a private corner of a rooftop where no one ever goes, but public urination is a crime, and Spidey doesn’t really strike me as the lawbreaking kind.