The above panel is a portion of one from this week’s Justice Society of America #28, written and pencilled by Jerry Ordway and inked by Bob Wiacek. You can’t tell by the way I cropped it, but The Spectre III there is drawing a portal in the air with his left hand, in order to transport the various JSA members with him. Power Girl notes that she hopes they’re not going too far, or else she’ll wish she’d have gone to the bathroom first.
Which naturally got me thinking—Holy crap, I bet it’s hard to go to the bathroom when you’re wearing a superhero costume! And Power Girl has got it super-rough.
A lot of superhero costumes seem like they’d be awfully cumbersome to get in and out of enough to, um, go, but some have it a lot easier than others. The Flash and Superman have such remarkable speed they can probably zip back to their home bathrooms and back without anyone even noticing. Iron Man has a system built into his suit, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Batman, who thinks of everything, probably has a catheter system built in to his costume which leads to a bottle hidden in his utility belt. As for Aquaman, I’m pretty sure he used to just say he had to be immersed in sea water every half hour just so he could go in the water.
But poor Power Girl! First, her costume is a one-piece thing, so I guess he has to wriggle out of the neck hole, or maybe there’s a zipper in the back of front for getting undressed…? Either way, seh’s gotta take her whole costume off to pee. And that cape probably doesn’t help matters; that’s gotta go before she can sit down, right? And I imagine she’d want to take the gloves off too. What a pain! Power Girl really needs a two-piece suit, akin to Wonder Woman’s.
You know who else probably has a hard time relieving himself?( Well yes, Penance. I’m pretty sure he just wears an adult diaper now though). Spider-Man. His costume is two peices, so he doesn’t have to take the whole think off every time he has to pee—and with all those stops at the cofee bean, he probably has to go constantly—but where does he go to pee? Does he swing back to his apartment every time? Because he can’t really use public restrooms in his Spider-Man costume, not being a wanted man and everything, and he’d certainly be vulnerable just, like, swinging in to the men’s restroom at a restaurant or the public library or something. Sure, he could always find a private corner of a rooftop where no one ever goes, but public urination is a crime, and Spidey doesn’t really strike me as the lawbreaking kind.
June 26th, 2009 at 9:35 am
Ummm.. a wizard did it.
June 26th, 2009 at 10:03 am
From pedophilia to toilet practices…is there something you’d like to share with the group, Caleb?
June 26th, 2009 at 10:05 am
from about 25 years ago —
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oeoaoqVf9E
June 26th, 2009 at 10:08 am
i wonder that a lot of the times
June 26th, 2009 at 10:09 am
I’d say that PG’s costume has crotch snaps, like baby pajamas. Chafing could be an issue there, I’d imagine…
June 26th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Being Kryptonian, I don’t think Power Girl doesn’t need to use the bathroom. Because their energy is drawn from the yellow sun, Kryptonians process things differently. I know I remember reading somewhere that Superman doesn’t need to eat, and only does it to enjoy the taste.
I’m such a nerd.
June 26th, 2009 at 11:13 am
I’m sure the cape can come in handy when someone forgets to replace the toilet paper.
June 26th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Freefall mentioned in an annual a few years back that most costumes have snaps now. They look like one-piece, but are really easier to get off than you think.
And I don’t care how law-abiding you are, you’ll go in an alley if you really need to go, and no one will know the difference.
Cheers,
B
June 26th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Sure, unless it’s radioactive.
June 26th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
I wouldn’t be surprised if Batman, who thinks of everything, probably has a catheter system built in to his costume which leads to a bottle hidden in his utility belt.
This actually was addressed in Watchmen. While reminiscing with Lauie, Dan talked about a bad guy that got away while he (Dan) had to take a bathroom stop…took so long to get out of costume that he had thereafter modified the Owlman suit with some kind of system (don’t remember the exact wording) that allowed him to “go” in the suit. Ive always assumed that Batman has a similar arrangment.
June 26th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Not having to pee every 5 minutes is actually a superpower.
June 26th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
If PG were real, I’d happily assist her with getting in and out of costume. She can handle the rest of the bathroom stuff herself, but I’d be there when she needs me.
June 26th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
What happens when the Hulk has to drop a deuce? Smart Hulk from the 90s was probably polite enough to use a restroom, even when he was away from that giant-ass place the Pantheon lived in. But what about Dumb Hulk? I would imagine he doesn’t have the social graces to find a private spot to go, and just cops a squat anywhere the mood strikes him. And Red Hulk probably looks for a convertible with an open roof to go in, just to be a dick. Can you imagine having to clean up a pile of Hulk droppings? It’s gotta be like that scene in Jurassic Park when… you know, I probably should have stopped thinking about this a long time ago…
June 26th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
im not an aquaman fan so i always had the doubt
does anyone knows how a bathroom works on Atlantis?
June 26th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Well, I see it’s time for some girly TMI.
When I’m wearing a one-piece swimsuit and I have to go Number One, it’s a simple matter of pushing that narrow strip of cloth to one side and aiming very carefully. (Yes, girls can aim. Not quite as accurately as boys, and a more limited range, but we can still do it.)
~*~THE MORE YOU KNOW~*~
June 26th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
“I’d say that PG’s costume has crotch snaps, like baby pajamas.”
That may be the sexiest thing I’ve read on this site ever.