As someone who grew up in the country, I grew up drinking milk. Not milk, but MILK, as in, go up the road to the farm, pay the lady whose husband was still out in the fields at 6:00 pm, and get the bottles of milk that were filled about 15 minutes earlier from the big tank, which itself was filled, earlier in the day, from the cows.

When we’d later drink the milk, you always had to shake it, otherwise, you’d only pour the cream off the top. My father had heart bypass surgery when he was 49, but I don’t think that’s connected.

All of that said, I grew up drinking what would now be considered whole milk – something that’s nearly illegal in the supermarkets of today – and I never, ever had a milk mustache that was as thick and clingy as the ones in the “Got Milk?” ads.

Which, by the way, Hugh Jackman has done for Wolverine.

And yes, the idea of Wolverine – a man with six sharp blades coming out of the back of his hands who smokes, swears and kills, drinking milk is funny. It’s also funny that in a world where we have “if you drink low fat, you should change to skim” drilled into us, and milk drinking is down overall, that the Milk Advisory Board is promoting drinking this high-test…white butter.

Maybe it’s like Wolverine smoking. He can eat lard and have no ill effects.

Finally, if you happen to know, or have heard, what is that that they put over the lip of the actors and celebrities in these ads, I’d love to know.

You know what? At least it wasn’t the chocolate milk ones. There was that one a few years back that had what looked to be a J.L Garcia-Lopez Batman with a chocolate milk mustache. End result? He looked like a ’70s porn star.

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