If you read any comics from DC’s superhero line this week, this is what you saw on the last page:
It’s apparently an image from the troubled James Robinson-written Justice League story, that was originally announced as an ongoing, then downgraded to a miniseries, and has had its title jiggered with slightly here and there. According to this, it’s now called JLA: Cry For Justice.
Sometimes DC’s efforts to sell their comics to their fans and readers are so…how to put this?…well, clueless I guess, that it’s almost charming. Like, I feel bad for even making fun of them, you know? Like, Aw, they don’t even realize how crass and creepy they look doing this do they? The little scamps!
So here’s a preview of Cry For Justice, which appears to be a comic book about four random DC supermen teaming up with Supergirl’s breasts. Not Supergirl herself, thanks, just her breasts. I’m sure this isn’t a full image, and was maybe cropped like it is to avoid a spoiler—Supegirl has been exposed to red kryptonite and is now an ant-headed centaur!—but really, that’s the single best image they could choose? One in which the foreground is devoted exclusively to a teenage girl’s breasts?
I like the fact that the text portion of the tease has Ian Sattler speaking of the wealth of great art he had to choose from too, as if this really was the image they thought would best sell the series over all the others. “I know you wanted to use one with all the crazy gorillas fighting, but there were too many good ones to choose from,” he writes. So he just went with the most inappropriate one.
Also of note is the second-to-last-sentence:
Hmm, what could be redacted? I’ve spent a while—well, five minutes—puzzling over it, and I’m sure it must be a verb followed by a noun and then another noun.
It could be anything, of course: “I still can’t believe that we’re going to let them consume Pop Rocks and cola,” or “kidnap Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Millar” or “marry Green Arrow and Hal Jordan.” I have the sneaking suspicion that the first blacked-out word is “kill” or “kill off” and the second two are names though.
The only problem with that theory, of course, is who’s left to kill off that hasn’t either just died or just come back from the dead, particularly with these characters involved. When the series was originally announced, the premise was that Hal Jordan and Green Arrow were forming a more pro-active branch of the League in response to a death in the pages of Final Crisis (presumably J’onn J’onnz, as they talked about this after viewing his body). But this tease teases of more deaths.
Maybe Connor “Green Arrow II” Hawke and Ryan “Atom II” Choi? Neither of them are in any books at the moment, and each would seem to motivate some of these characters to want revenge. I mean, justice. To want justice. And to want it badly enough to cry for it.