By Darwyn Cooke (and not Jimmy Palmiotti)

Hey there. It would appear that Jimmy left for Emerald City without a blog for this week, so it fell to me to step in and fill the yawning void that would occur without it.

I’m Darwyn Cooke, by the way. You may remember me from such comics as “To Save Me Why Must I Kill Me?” “The Tight, Tight Costume” and “I Kill You With My Killing Thing”. I’ve been wintering here in Florida with Miss Marsha, just down the street from Jimmy and Amanda. The following is a random pap smear of thoughts and recollections from the winter just past.

ITEM! FIRST A MONKEY, NOW A BEAR

Since early this year, residents of sleepy Safety Harbor and nearby Clearwater have been reporting sightings of a wild bear lurking in the bushes outsides their stately dwellings. The bear seems to be subsisting on a diet of oranges, honey, and airplane sized bottles of vodka. The police say the bear seems to prefer Grey Goose. Comics luminaries such as Jimmy Palmiotti, Brandon Peterson and even Dan Didio claim to have spotted this inhuman killing machine. Is anybody safe? Maybe he just wants a hug.

ITEM! LAST RESORT/ TORPEDO

Just a quick plug for a couple projects I’m chipping in on over at IDW Publishing.

The Last Resort is a Horror/Comedy written by the man what owns this blog. It’s shaping up to be a great book, kind of a cross between an Irwin Allen picture and some of the great serials that you’d get back in the day from Heavy Metal. Anyway, I’ll be throwing in covers on this five book miniseries, so give it a look when it pops up this summer. Miss Amanda Conner is also doing an issue one cover, so checks it outs.

For those who read this blog regularly you already know The Complete Torpedo is a five volume hardcover collection of the brilliant series by Sanchez Abuli and living legend Jordi Bernet that Jimmy is supervising the translation on.  This is the first time ever that the entire Torpedo series has been collected in English. This set of books is a must have for fans of crime comics. I’ll be designing the collection and contributing color for the dustjackets. To help present this great series in a deluxe format is a dream gig and allows me to indulge some old habits, graphic design and typography.

ITEM! DRUNKEN ANIMALS DISGRACE TAMPA AREA RESIDENTS

Canadian dogs have been seen slamming cold ones, tapping kegs, and chugging pints. Who trained these incredible super-drinking canines? Someone call PETA, for mercy’s sake.

ITEM! ALMOST DARWYN BLOG/CAL PLUG

You kids on the Internets and the Twitter may have noticed a blog out there called “Almost Darwyn Cooke’s Blog.” This little trail of colourful leavings is hosted by my good friend Calum Johnston, the proprietor of Strange Adventures, Halifax’s premier comic shop (www.strange adventures.com). I’m genetically incapable of personally maintaining a blog, so if you want a taste of what I’m working on, this is the place to go.

ITEM! JAMES SIME IS JAMES SIME, 24 HOURS A DAY

Speaking of stylish retailers, ever wonder what the natty James Sime wears to the beach? Same thing he wears at the Isotope Lounge, apparently. James and Kirsten made the flew over to Florida from San Francisco for a few days to visit and between twitters and other itardation, we had a blast.

ITEM! FINGERED AND THROWN DOWN AN ALLEY

Forget about this March Madness crap. Here in Florida (or as I call it, America’s Penis) it’s all about the bowling. Comics titans have been facing off over their balls for the last few months. Standout competitors have included Herr Didio, John Higashi, Kirsten Baldock and Brandon Peterson’s significant other, Frank Cho.

ITEM! CALGARY/ALLRED

Marsha and I are going to be out in the land of the shitkickers April 24th thru 26th at the Calgary Fan Expo. This is something I’m really looking forward to. Everyone tells me this show is terrific and the best part is Mike and Laura Allred are also attending. For those who don’t know, Mike and I are great friends and its been quite a while since we got together. If you’re in the area, drop out to the show and track Mike and I down to say hi.

ITEM! BUT IT COMES WITH F*$#@*G CHEESE ON IT

By God, what is with the food down here in America’s Penis?  Plates the size of Radar dishes and cheese on every Jesus thing on the menu. All the eating is taking it’s toll. I’ve calculated it’ll require 25% more fuel to get Marsha and I home after this. What the hell, give me another bag of those cheese Skittles.

ITEM! FUNNY MOTHERTUCKER

I’m sure it’s no secret to the cool kids in class, but Tucker Stone is one smart, funny son of a bitch. There are many who write about comics with an eye toward what’s wrong with things, but nobody does it with as much scathing insight and neuron juking hilarity. Only a guy who truly loves comics could take the time to beat them with so much verve and regularity. Tucker can be found at www.factualopinion.com and a bunch of other places I’m too lazy to link to.

Thanks for the truth and the laughs, Tucker. And I owe you an interview, don’t I?

ITEM! NOT THE TERMINATOR CONNOR, THE OTHER ONE

One of the great things about being in comics is getting a look now and then at another artist at work. If it’s someone you admire, it can be educational as well. For the past few months I’ve gotten to watch young Amanda Connor put together Power Girl for DC. As Agent J says, this is some next level shit from Amanda. Absolutely stunning work. Clarity and detail in perfect harmony. Fierce action and sublime acting all made to look effortless. It’s easy to say this ’cause she’s like my little sister, but meet the next superstar artist batting for the majors. Ladies and gentlemen, Amanda Connor.

ITEM! PARKER IS WRAPPED

For the last few months I’ve been working on my adaptation of the Richard Stark classic, The Hunter. I’m happy to say I’m just cleaning up the last handful of pages as we speak. Scott Dunbier and I have been working particularly hard on this one and there are a multitude of promotional plans in place to lead up to the book’s July release.

On a personal note, the author of the Parker series Donald Westlake (AKA Richard Stark) passed away on December 31st last year. This was an enormous blow to me personally, having spent most of my adult years in awe of his prodigious talent. We were just getting to know each other when he passed, and I’ll treasure our email exchanges. Last week there was a memorial for him at The Player’s Club in NYC. I was fortunate enough to spend a few moments with Abby Westlake, Donald’s lovely wife. I hope my work on Parker lives up to the standards of this grand master. I’ll write more about the memorial, and the man himself in the near future.

Well, it’s about time to pack my beach stuff and get out to the airport to pick up J. Bone at the airport. We’ll see how his bowling game is.

Sayanara,
Darwyn

East of Ozona

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 8th, 2009 at 10:53 am and is filed under Listen to Jimmy Palmiotti, News & Views. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.