Spoiler puppies on, people.
By now, you know about Final Crisis #6. You may have even read the article on the front page about Replacement Batmans. Men. Whatever. At any rate, if Batman is off the playing field, what’s that say about Bruce Wayne? What will be done to address his absence in the DCU? We’ve got some ideas . . .
Tour of Asia!: Hey, it worked in Batman Begins. Perhaps Alfred can have Wayne Enterprises announce that Master Wayne has gone on (another) spiritual retreat. In Begins, Wayne was even declared dead by Roy Batty, yet still managed to get his fortune and empire back due to clever machinations. This could work.
Tour of Europe!: Granted, there would have to be occasional Bruce Wayne sightings, but isn’t that what having shape-shifting Martian friends is good for? What? Oh, damn. He’s dead, too. Okay . . . Human Target! There we go.
Trapped Under Building: You may recall that the way that Clark Kent “came back to life” after the “Death of Superman” was some clever trickery with the shape-shifiting Matrix (the former alien Supergirl; long story) posing as Supes to “rescue” Clark from under some rubble. If it’s good enough for Clark Kent, it’s good enough for Bruce Wayne. Except Bruce would pretend that he was trapped under a luxury hotel instead of the Daily Planet.
Let Hush Keep Pretending: Villain Hush recently pretended to be Bruce Wayne, although he was caught by Catwoman. Come up with a cover story that he (Bruce) is convalescing from an accident, and show pictures of a perpetually sedated Hush to the media. It works until “Bruce Wayne” wakes up and starts killing people.
Let Bruce Die!: Announce that Bruce was killed during the whole chaos that happened during Final Crisis. Since I imagine that Jason is still legally dead, Damian, Dick and Tim (as Wayne’s biolgical and two adopted sons, respectively) would split the fortune. Should Bruce “return”, they could concoct a cover story and fork over some cash to make him rich again.
Let Bruce Die, Part Deux: You know, if Bruce does come back to be Batman again, who says that he has to be Bruce Wayne? Maybe he’d like to be Batman all the time. Or maybe he’d like to forget the whole thing and get some rest. He could change his name to Joel Schumacher, because he’s been trying to forget his time spent with Batman for years.
What think you, readers?
January 16th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Well, you could have a WHITE martian brainwashed to believe that he’s the real Bruce Wayne. That’s what happened in JLA #33, during No Man’s Land. But it wasn’t planned, some plane crashed and he thought he was the playboy millionaire.
And the spoiler puppies are here to stay!
January 16th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
I thought because he was hit by the Omega Sanction Bruce was sent to live a series of increasingly tragic lives? That’s how it seems to be between Sonny Sumo and Shilo Norman’s explanations. I could easily be wrong because making complete sense of Morrison’s work is hard enough.
January 16th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
I saw just have Alfred, Dick and Tim say Bruce was going to Bludhaven to do some humanitarian/philanthropy work when all hell broke loose, and he’s missing. Then just make sure all their legal papers are in order for when/if he comes back.
January 16th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Or they can just bite the bullet and completely fess up to the public.
Yeah, I know. Never be allowed to happen by the corporate parentals.