As you’ve no doubt heard by now, Columbia Pictures and director Sam Mendes are taking a shot at producing a movie based on Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon’s Preacher. Hopefully, the third time is the charm, since a previous movie adaption and an HBO series have both failed to get off the ground. No casting announcements have been made yet, but since comic fans love to speculate about this sort of thing, I’ll add my two cents about who should bring Jesse Custer and crew to life.
Rev. Jesse Custer: James Franco
James Marsden was originally cast as Jesse Custer in the first attempt at a Preacher movie, but I’ve never thought he was charismatic enough to play a lead role in a movie. James Franco is a different story. He can play a romantic lead (Tristan & Isolde), comic relief (Pineapple Express), and an action star (Spider-Man 3). He’s a darn good actor and a handsome man to boot.
Tulip O’Hare: Anne Hatheway
One of the main subplots in Preacher is the conflict between Jesse’s old-fashioned need to protect the love of his life from harm and Tulip’s steadfast refusal to be coddled. To bring Tulip to life on the silver screen, you need an actress who can be a convincing ass-kicker, while still remaining feminine. If you’ve seen Get Smart, you know she can pull off both sides of Jesse’s paramour. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt to cast a box office draw in at least one part.
Cassidy: Denis Leary
I think it’s safe to say that a foul-mouthed, chain-smoking, hard-drinking, quick-tempered Irish vampire is right in Denis Leary’s wheelhouse. Hell, it’s practically typecasting.
Saint of Killers: The Undertaker
Speaking of typecasting, I can’t think of anyone better suited to play Garth Ennis’s massive, spooky, undead cowboy than Vince McMahon’s massive, spooky, undead cowboy.
Herr Starr: Kurtwood Smith
Smith is best known for playing grumpy wiseacre Red Foreman on That 70s Show. You may also remember him from Robocop, in which he played violent thug Clarence Boddicker. Put them both together, add a dash of fascism, and you’ve got Herr Starr.
Granma: Bea Arthur
Let’s face it, Bea Arthur is already kind of scary.
Jody: Mickey Rourke
After watching him tear up the screen in Darren Aronofsky’s The Wrestler, I’m convinced that Mickey Rourke is going to be Hollywood’s next big action star. And by the time Preacher rolls into production, he’ll probably be an Oscar-winner as well. Plus he’s ripped. I think he’ll be perfect as Granma’s redneck enforcer.
T.C.: Clint Howard
Just look at that mug. Think of all the money they’ll save on prosthetics and make-up by casting Howard.
Hugo Root: Clint Eastwood
The screen legend loves to play pissed-off a-holes. Eastwood doesn’t act as much as he once did, and spends most of his time working on his own films. However, he’s recently stated that with the right script, he’d come out of semi-retirement to work with another director. Eastwood staring down the Saint of Killers would be one hell of a moment.
Arseface: A Muppet.
Why the hell not?.
What do you think? Does anyone have any better ideas?
December 17th, 2008 at 9:15 am
If they cast James Franco as Jesse Custer, I will have died and gone to heaven. You are a brilliant man (and a tease), Corey.
I can’t picture Anne Hathaway as badass enough for Tulip though. I want someone tougher. It’s always been a hard one for me. Franka Potente, maybe, if she can do the accent.
December 17th, 2008 at 11:23 am
This list starts and ends strong (the Jody and Hugo choices). Everything in between? Not so much.
December 17th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Franco’s a pretty good choice, but age-wise Tulip is supposed to be about 5 years older than Jesse, so Hathaway seems too young for the part. Meanwhile, Leary’s almost 20 years too old to play Cassidy, given that the character was turned into a Vampire in his late teens/early 20’s and isn’t supposed to look much older than that. Late 20’s at the oldest, really.
I’d kind of like to see Charlie Hunnam as Cassidy, as he can pull off crazed/badass fairly convincingly, as seen in Cold Mountain, Hooligans, and Sons of Anarchy, but my chief concern would be that he might be too conventionally attractive for the part. Actually, come to think of it Franco’s offbeat enough that if he could do the accent justice, he might make a better Cassidy, while Hunnam’s good looks lend him towards Jesse. After her work in Touching Evil and Running Scared, I’d really like to see Vera Farmiga as Tulip, but at this point she’s a little too old for it. Had this movie been made 5 years ago, she would’ve been my first choice, though.
As for the villains, Ron Perlman would be my choice for the Saint, and Gary Oldman has always been my first choice for Herr Starr. Rourke would make a great Jody, though.
December 17th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Heh, realized I typed “Leary’s almost 20 years too old,” when what I actually meant was “at least 20 years too old.” The guy’s in his early 50’s. Even with Cassidy’s history of heroin and alcohol abuse, it’s a bit of a stretch that a guy who’s supposed to be in his 20’s could look that haggard.
December 17th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Lot of people I wouldn’t have thought of, but a lot of it seems like great casting. The Undertaker choice is brilliant.
December 17th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Well, after seeing a commercial for the new movie Valkyrie, I almost sh!t myself. Tom Cruise as Jesse Custer! I wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but the commercial convinced me! I actually thought that it was a commercial for Preacher, with Jesse all dressed up after Ms. Oatlash gets a hold of him! Of course after saying this, there’s no way that crazy Scientologist would ever take this part
December 17th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I also don’t trust Leary to pull off the accent.
I really don’t think that he’ss all that skilled with accents and dialects. Either hire an Irishman from Ireland (as opposed to an Irish-American) or an actor who’s truly an expert at accents.
May 15th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
James franco?
Dennis Leary?
Anne Hathaway?
You have read the comic right?
jesus christ…..there are some simple people outthere with even simpler ideas.
I wonder if you’ve ever seen a movie made before 2008!
Anne hathaway, hahahahahahahahahahaha franco, oh yeh you would shit your self if the worse part of the spiderman franchise came after you in a collar hahahahahaha!
July 12th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Dear Jake,
I <3 you. Please post more.