For those of you who have been following the Newsarama mothership, we’ve lately been on a big kick for casting superhero movies. (It’s a lot more probable now than it was a decade ago, even though everyone was saying that Patrick Stewart should play Professor X. But Robert DeNiro as Wolverine? Seriously?) And while we’ve been playing it somewhat safe with casting calls for Captain America, Wonder Woman, and now the sainted Obi-Wan Kenobi, I propose a character more off the beaten path…
Aaron Stack, also known as Machine Man.
The robot “son” of Dr. Abel Stack, Aaron got some off-kilter star power in Warren Ellis’ Nextwave. This is mainly because Warren Ellis’ brain goes into black and creepy places our pitiful human brains cannot. But as the bland, Pinochio-esque robot became a hard-drinking two-legged Swiss Army knife, he became a character that if you didn’t love him, you’d at least let him come home with you to eat your Pringles. He’s also the star of the series Marvel Zombies 3, where he has been satisfying his worst cybernetic impulses as he destroys zombie hordes, or as he refers to us, “fleshy ones.”
So let’s cut to the quick: who should play Aaron Stack? The contenders:
Stephen Colbert: The Sultan of Snark, Colbert certainly can play amusing jerks — after all, he plays one on TV. But would he be able to continually hit that sweet spot of awkward hilarity and did-he-really-just-say-that black comedy? Well, he did do it for the last three years. Plus, Colbert holds a “special relationship” with Marvel EiC Joe Quesada, which could lead to benefits–like the Nextwave movie!
Christopher Mintz-Plasse: If anyone can match the awkwardness of an Aaron Stack encounter, it’s Christopher Mintz-Plasse, who broke into Hollywood with the sleeper hit Superbad, and who helped make Role Models a really, really, really funny movie. (Seriously, watch it.) He might need a few years to grow into the role, but can you picture McLovin’ propositioning a “fleshy one”? There, now you can’t unthink it. I hope you’re happy.
Paul Reubens: Seriously, before you lob tomatoes at me, hear me out. Can Aaron Stack be creepy? So can Paul Reubens. And this would certainly be a nice shot in the arm for a guy who’s last big picture was Mystery Men, which was banned from Norway for inducing superhero fans to commit seppuku. That last bit didn’t really happen, but I think you can see the possibility. But seriously… maybe the guy could be funny?
And feel free to add on your own suggestions! Battle it out amongst yourselves! Do that flamey thing you do! If I don’t count them out after a week or three and give you a report, well… it just means Warren Ellis got to me first.
And for those of you who read the entire post — the Nextwave theme song, by Thunder Thighs!