Lynn Johnston ended the original run of For Better Or For Worse with a Sunday strip detailing how the Pattersons’ lives went after the strip’s conclusion, but have you ever wondered what would happen in more of your favorite comic strips if their creators decided to show readers what futures the fates have in store for the characters once their strips end? Let’s take a look at some ideas for how some of America’s most popular comic strips should end:

Garfield: After coming home late one night after a date with his girlfriend Liz, Jon Arbuckle is shocked to find his loyal cat Garfield slumped face down in a plate of lasagna, dead of an apparent heart attack. Ironically, it is a Monday.

Calvin and Hobbes: A teenage Calvin, sick of constant bullying at the hands of Moe, decides to do something about it by smuggling a handgun into his high school. Fortunately, Calvin’s inability to distinguish fantasy from reality spares Moe’s life, as Calvin doesn’t realize that the .357 Magnum he plans to shoot Moe with is actually a bright orange water pistol.  Moe pounds Calvin into oblivion after getting squirted in the face with a stream of water, and because of the incident, Calvin’s parents finally decide to get him the psychiatric help he has so desperately needed for years. After years of therapy, Calvin is finally able to admit his passionate feelings for Susie Derkins, and the two wed after graduating college. Calvin eventually passes his stuffed tiger Hobbes to his firstborn son, who much to the delight of Calvin’s parents turns out to be as much of a handful to raise as Calvin was.

Funky Winkerbean: Everybody dies, because nobody ever lives happily ever after in the Funky Winkerbean universe.

The Lockhorns: Two words: murder/suicide.

Blondie: Dagwood eats a sandwich, takes a nap, and shows up late for work the next day. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Zits: Jeremy and Hector drop out of high school to start a band with Chip from Hi & Lois. After a couple of years of touring in Jeremy and Hector’s rebuilt VW van, the trio becomes famous after Jack White goes berserk and punches Chip in the face.  Unfortunately, the band breaks up at the height of their popularity after Jeremy’s relationship with Paris Hilton drives a wedge between the band members.

The Family Circus: Mr. and Mrs. Keane finally realize that their children are functionally retarded, and not just cute and precocious as they’d always assumed. This revelation compels the family to move out of their house beneath the town’s power lines.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008 at 1:30 pm and is filed under Comic Strips. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.