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He’s geekier than all of you combined

November 5th, 2008
Author Kevin Melrose

A 19-year-old British man now may have the longest name in the world, and certainly the nerdiest.

George Garratt of Glastonbury last week changed his name to “Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined.”

Confirming the dangers of the Internet, The Telegraph reports he did so using an online service that charges $20. Whatever happened to teens just downloading porn?

“I wanted to be unique,” Captain Fantastic told the newspaper. “I decided upon a theme of superheroes.”

He was about to say more, but he was beaten up by a passing busload of schoolchildren.

 
27 Responses to “He’s geekier than all of you combined”
  1. Squashua Says:

    That’s pretty stupid.

    The speed gained from adding Spider-Man, Batman, Wolverine, and The Hulk would be completely negligible when combined with the speeds of The Flash and Superman.

  2. Squashua Says:

    Plus, he forgot the hyphen in Spider-Man. Just sayin’.

  3. Morten Says:

    He misspelled Spider-Man.

  4. TJ Fosko Says:

    And he will never get married…

  5. Martha Says:

    Hilarious! What a nerd…there are special people all over this world. Truly special.

  6. REM_FTW Says:

    Uhhh..he looks retarded.

  7. Bob Boberson Says:

    I can’t wait until people start abbreviating it to Cap’n Fanny.

  8. Mark Says:

    Wouldn’t his name technically be “Captain Combined”?

  9. Bob Boberson Says:

    Followup to TJ’s post:

    Can you imagine the DJ intro at that reception? That would be awesome.

    “Let me introduce to you, Captain Fantastic and Helen Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined”

  10. D. Peace Says:

    “Please, my father was MR. Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine The Hulk And The Flash Combined. Call me Captain.”

    All kidding aside, this might be completely brain-dead but so what? He’s obviously having a good time and not taking himself too seriously. Lighten up. We all know he’s going to get it changed back (probably next week) so relax. And if you don’t think a sense of humor is attractive to women, well… shows what you know.

    Far stupider and more offensive is parents who give their kids awful names. If you choose it for yourself, then good on you, but if you inflict “Harley Quinn” or “Kal-El” or “Pilot Inspektor” on an innocent, unsuspecting child who never asked for extra swirlies and purple nurples then you deserve to be flogged.

  11. majorjoe23 Says:

    He wanted to be original, so he ripped off a joke from Family Guy?

  12. Kevin Melrose Says:

    It’s only fair: Family Guy has been ripping off other shows for years.

  13. Aaron Says:

    Peter’s boat’s name: “S.S. More Powerful Than Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and the Incredible Hulk Put Together.”

    - Family Guy Ep.: “A Fish Out of Water”

    It would have been more interesting IF he went a little more original.

  14. The Ugly American Says:

    My real name is Nosmo King.

  15. Ike Iszany Says:

    Um…do you think this guy is really interested in girls?

  16. Jake Saint Says:

    The Glastonbury court system needs to upgrade their letterhead.

  17. TJ Fosko Says:

    A sense of humor is very attractive to women, yes.

    The idea of having THAT as a last name is not.

    Yeesh. And stealing jokes from Family Guy? That’s even more pathetic.

    “Hey, you remember that time the joke happened?”
    [insert 30 second clip irrelevant to plot]

    I don’t care for South Park, but that one episode opened my eyes and freed me, making me realize that Family Guy is, indeed, not funny.

  18. TJ Fosko Says:

    @Ike Iszany

    You make a good point. Honestly, I doubt he’s into men, either.

  19. silvanthalas Says:

    Captain Dumbass to the… uhh… what the hell is wrong with the courts?

  20. The Ugly American Says:

    What’s really pathetic is knowing that it’s a reference to Family Guy.

    Zing!

  21. Alvin Draper Says:

    ^^^
    you’re right
    he might just be into himself

    He should have just stuck with Captain Fantastic though. I think that could have worked.

  22. Joe Says:

    D. Peace:
    Heh. Reminds me of Frank Zappa and his kids Moon Unit, Dweezil, and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen. Luckily Ahmet got away with what I believe is an Arabic name.

  23. pat Says:

    “I don’t care for South Park, but that one episode opened my eyes and freed me, making me realize that Family Guy is, indeed, not funny.”

    Seconded. although, I do love South Park.

  24. johnnyzito Says:

    I didn’t get the reference.

    South Park ftw.

  25. Apodaca Says:

    “And if you don’t think a sense of humor is attractive to women, well… shows what you know.”

    And if you think that this is what women will find funny, well… shows what you know.

  26. Wally East Says:

    The really important question that comes out of this is would combining The Flash’s speed and Superman’s speed result in speed faster than The Flash?

    I mean, if Clark Kent had been hit by the lightning while standing next to the rack of chemicals, would he get any faster? Just a little bit? A whole lot?

  27. Denver Duttinger Says:

    okay so I spent the last 15 minutes searching for the same theme you’re using and can’t find it. Didn’t want to have to ask but really would love to use it for my blog, could you let me know? I’ll look back here soon for any replies. Thanks

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