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If Dr. Seuss was a female comic fan …

November 14th, 2007
Author JK Parkin

I thought this was well done …

Every Fan
Down in Fan-ville
Liked Comics a lot…

But the Bitch,
Who lived just North of Fan-ville,
Did NOT!

The Bitch hated Comics!
The whole Comics scene!
‘Though nobody knows how she turned out so mean.
It could be that her head wasn’t screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, she wore panties too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that her chest was two sizes too small.

 
10 Responses to “If Dr. Seuss was a female comic fan …”
  1. Ryan Higgins Says:

    Hahahahha, so funny, and so true.

  2. Mickey Says:

    Should be:

    “If Dr. Seuss WERE a female comic fan…”

    Geez, c’mon, people. A little grammar check, please.

  3. JK Parkin Says:

    Meh. To quote W. Somerset Maugham, “The subjunctive mood is in its death throes, and the best thing to do is to put it out of its misery as soon as possible.”

  4. Dan Coyle In Real Life Says:

    It’s funny cause it’s TRUE.

  5. Lloyd Webber Says:

    Err…Is that supposed to be witty? or funny?
    Someone has a lot of time with not much to do with it obviously

  6. Laurel Says:

    So women complain about the comics we spend our hard-earned money on every week because we hate them and want them to go away. When we object to objectification, it’s not because we want female characters to be portrayed as human, but because we’re all fat, flat-chested bitter bitches. (We are also, you’ll notice, made entirely of straw.)

    Whenever a female blogs about these things, a certain sector of male fandom goes batshit squealing that its Sexy will be taken away. And yet, if all the T and A came out of comics, the men would apparently go right on buying and reading them.

    Tell me, who this is little ditty supposed to be making look foolish again…?

  7. Karen Healey Says:

    Laurel,

    If you follow the link, you’ll discover the entire poem is satirical, by odditycollector of the famous “If Men Were *Really* Just As Objectifed As Women” covers.

    It is hilarious that a couple of commenters are gleefully greeting it as an attack on women protesting, when it’s actually parodying attackers.

  8. Michelle Says:

    Seems like this parody went completely over the heads of all the guys commenting here. Funny that. Hint: she’s making fun of reactionary fanboy types who actually think like that.

  9. Laurel Says:

    Whoops! And here I’ve always prided myself on being the (supposedly rare) feminist with a sense of humor.

  10. Timothy Liebe Says:

    Actually, I couldn’t tell who it was satirizing either except by context,

    Best,
    Tim Liebe
    Dreaded Spouse-Creature of Tamora Pierce – we’ll be at Darkovercon Thanksgiving Weekend :)

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