Livejournaler Arrowette unveils the most necessary tool in the DC Universe today - The Dan DiDio Advisory and Warning System:
BLUE– Threat of Emo.
You will most probably be all right physically, but your entire family and all your friends will die in a freak accident involving and airplane crash; a supervillain attack; or something involving Gorilla Grodd, a ditch and his semen. This will of course make you very sad and leave you an insufferable mess of tears and pessimism for years to come.
Early warning signs of the threat of emo:
- Your entire family will get together for barbecue. Watch out for super Nazi puke!
- Going out to the movies with your parents on foot. “Come on, Brucie, it’s just a dark, filthy alley in the middle of the night in Gotham City, what’s the worst that could happen? Oh, it’s called Crime Alley, what a delightfully curious name!”
- Your brother/sister calls you to say “Hey, we are going out with Gorilla Grodd; he says there is this awesome ditch we have to check out! He said we should bring some lube.”
Much more in the link.
September 18th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Pretty funny though I would have carried the whole “Gorilla Grodd in a ditch with a bucket of semen” bit through all the levels but bringing it back at the end made me giggle a bit.
Of course I can never look at Gorilla Grodd in the same way again. Or ditches.
September 18th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
I don’t want to read funny-happy-land comics, but the article is pretty clever.
September 18th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
Proving I’m such a geek, it wasn’t called “Crime Alley” when the Wayne’s were murdered. I believe it was called “Park Row”
September 18th, 2007 at 11:43 pm
I believe DK is esssentially correct. If I remember rightly, “Park Row” is its official (street signs, city maps, etc.) name, while “Crime Alley” is what it is known as because of the incredible amount of…well crime that takes place in the area.
September 19th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
The problem is not that the comics are grim and gritty, but that they’re predictable as hell.