So, over on Robert Kirkman’s board, a poster asked when the next issue of Walking Dead was due out. And then all hell broke loose. Ladies and gentlemen, Mark The Zombie:
Honest answer on 37: It, like pretty much every other issue of Walking Dead, will be out whenever Robert and the printers feel like delivering it. You cannot count on solicitations, you cannot count on pull sheets, you cannot count on your comic shop’s opinions, you cannot count on Robert’s statements, you just have to make the trip to the comic shop (which for some of us is an 80 mile round trip) every week, waste gas - which is, of course, nearing $3 a gallon - and then get disappointed as usual. You could try to call the comic shop, of course, but often they will think the last issue of Walking Dead on the shelves is the new one…so again you’ve wasted four gallons of gas.
Next, come on here and ask why it isn’t out yet. Do not expect to get a modicum of understanding as to why you might be irritated at having to make all these needless trips to the comic store - which, counting wasted gas, raises your price for the comic to around $15 an issue. Don’t criticize Robert or the constant missed shipping dates - if you do, people will question whether you love The Walking Dead and jump on your case. Just hang in there and keep buying the books, late as they may be. Hey, at the very least, they’re not Wetworks or Pitt. What? Say you don’t remember those? Well, with good reason: They kept showing up late and kept being delayed AND PEOPLE GOT SICK OF THE BS AND QUIT BUYING THEM!
Oh, wait, he’s not done:
Guess what. Most things are delivered ON TIME in this world. For instance, the new Nine Inch Nails CD is supposed to be out today. I went to the record store and - wonder of wonders - there it was. I was frankly stunned, having grown used to the fine shipping schedule of The Walking Dead. I didn’t hear Trent Reznor making BS excuses. I didn’t wade through a swath of his fans belittling people who expect a little bit of reliability and customer service or going off on some goony tangent about having servant boys collect their books. I made one trip to the store and I got what I needed. How refreshing. Maybe you should try it sometime, Robert.
From there, there’s the traditional back-and-forth of fans defending the book’s schedule and Mark’s “wit” (including some cheap homophobia and commentary like “Calling me a sick pedo has no effect because it simply isn’t true. I go home to a hot 24-year-old. You go home to your hand and your “Lady Death Swimsuit Special.” Don’t worry, son. Keep it up and someday you’ll meet a nice lady. Or, on second thought, since you’re a comics geek, maybe not…”), leading to Mark posting his non-Geek credentials:
Don’t live with my Mom. Live above my office in a loft. Have a hot girlfriend, not a wife. Marriage is a bad idea. Have no family so they never left. I’m in my late 20s. Tested genius level with two grad degrees. No Asperger’s Syndrome - which is actually a form of autism where people want to interact less and are antisocial. Shows what you know. You smell cheese because we just ordered a pizza… And you’re geeks because you’re an uncritical band of sheep who care less that the book is late and more whether Rick will get a cool chainsaw for his stump arm, proving Robert can rip off “Evil Dead” as easily as he ripped off “28 Days Later” in the beginning of the book.
Have I handled all your pissant complaints? Bleat, little sheep, bleat.
Believe it or not, that’s not the end of it: That original thread gets locked, so Mark starts another one that gets locked immediately. Probably because of the title: “Censorship is for Pussies: Truth Hurts, Doesn’t it?” Then, he goes after the forum moderator who locked both of the previous threads before finally getting banned.
Man, it makes me feel nostalgic to see such old-fashioned trolling these days, I have to tell you…
April 19th, 2007 at 9:20 am
And you’re reposting all this garbage for him because…?
April 19th, 2007 at 9:37 am
It’s called being patient enough to WAIT FOR THE TRADE PAPERBACK. That’s what *I* do for Walking Dead. They don’t ship THOSE late… usually.
April 19th, 2007 at 10:26 am
Who goes to the comic shop every week hoping their favorite book will be there? I did when I was 13, but with the internet it’s a lot easier to find out when stuff has come out.
April 19th, 2007 at 11:29 am
I APPLAUD Mark’s unwillingness to bow to the PC Nazi’s of the internet forum world (I didn’t see a single personal attack, just assertive wit). But I doubt that any “genius” would drive 80 miles round trip to a comic store every week. Get a pull file and do it once a month, holmes!
April 19th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
He did call someone a dipshit, that’s less assertive wit, more personal attack.
April 19th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
“And you’re reposting all this garbage for him because…? ”
It’s entertaining for the rest of us?
April 19th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
I guess the truth hurts
April 19th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
It’s called being patient enough to WAIT FOR THE TRADE PAPERBACK. That’s what *I* do for Walking Dead. They don’t ship THOSE late… usually
Actually, they pretty much ship just as late as the regular issues. So do the INVINCIBLE trades. But that doesn’t stop me from reading them.
April 19th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
I love all of these so-called ‘geniuses’ who have ‘hot wives/girlfriends’…Could it be that the comic collector stereotype paradigm is shifting from ‘basement dweller’ to ’super and studly genius’? I think not.
April 19th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Y’know… issue 37 is scheduled to ship in MARCH. It’s at the printer now and will be out before the end of this month.
So, I’m shipping a March book about THREE weeks late.
I wish it were on time too–we’re taking steps now to ensure that’s the case VERY soon.
But seriously. people need to chill the hell out. This book is far from the latest book on the shelves… or y’know–NOT on the shelves.
-Robert
April 19th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Heh. “Theme From Retro”. Nice to have a new song stuck in my head. Cheers, Graeme.
April 19th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
“It’s entertaining for the rest of us?”
You left out the word “losers” at the end. Hope this helps.
April 19th, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Don’t the diamond shipping lists released on Mondays feature the actual books that will ship in a given week? At least barring an act of God?
That said, customers have a right to complain about bad service from the writers and artists, within reason. Once you get to personal attacks and discussions about how “hot” your girlfriend is, well, I think you’ve gotten off-topic.
April 19th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Yeah, that guy was a complete jackass, sorry I even got into it with him in the first place.
April 21st, 2007 at 1:58 pm
I think ‘markthezombie’ started out arguing for natural grass and sadly ended up defending artificial turf–because he was mobbed and he lost his cool.
The “I’ve been drinking” excuse ‘markthezombie’ uses was a cop, of course, and by the time the whole mess had devolved into the morass of moronic comments he needed to be put down for his own good.
I have to say that I think forum board denizens, for the most part, are either some of the most hypersensitive and pathetic people that lurk the internet or they are the most shit-talking, pot stirring, pseudo-intellectuals that have to hide behind the anonymity of their computer screen name because deep inside they fear being “wrong”.
The meek inherit the Earth because of PC-ism and it’s homogenization of our will to speak freely without fear of reprisal.
It’s too bad 95% the meek themselves aren’t either educated or tactful enough to make their own assertions–but they do have the presence to form a mob-mentality of electronic finger pointing akin to a five year old tattling on a peer for saying a “naughty word” on the playground.
Steven Ekstrom