It’s 2007 for everyone who follows the Judeo-Christian calendar, and that can only mean two things: Hangovers from people who partied just a little bit too much last night, and New Year’s Resolutions. We here at Blog@Newsarama are far too perfect to have to make any resolutions (although Graeme promises to not make so much fun of Millarworld this year, even if he’s annoyed that no-one noticed that he didn’t link them at all last week), but luckily, the characters and creators of some of your favorite comics are here to take up the slack. We all hope you have a great year, and enjoy finding out what your personal favorites are going to be trying to do over the next 365 days!

Resolutions for 2007

Scott Pilgrim:
1. Get it together.
2. Learn how to make fondue without Wallace complaining about the apartment smelling like burnt goat.
3. Make Sex-Bomb-Omb the biggest band since the Bee Gees.

Superman: This upcoming year, I hope to continue fighting for truth, justice and the American Way, but I also plan on convincing Bryan Singer that I’m not a peeping-tom stalker before he writes the sequel to Superman Returns.

Iron Man: In 2007, I hope to find some consistent characterization in all of the many books I’ll appear in and also, as the incoming director of SHIELD, I plan on making every second Friday of the month “Casual Dress Friday,” so that I can finally make the first public appearance of my Repulsor Shorts.

Captain America: Goddammit, man. I haven’t got time to think of “resolutions” when the entire resolution of American democracy is being undermined by Tony “Pretty boy with the goatee” Stark and his government flunkies. But I am planning on trying to quit quitting as Captain America, only to have another costumed identity for a few months before coming back as Captain America before the year’s out.

Wonder Woman: Get a day planner. Keep my appointments.

The entire Young Avengers: We’d like to have our book back, please.

Betty Cooper: I think if I’ve learnt anything from 2006, it’s that I should learn to stop complaining that I always looked as if I came from the 1950s. I was talking to Veronica the other day, and we both agree that Archie Andrews really got the better deal from this whole “realistic revamp” thing – He gets to look like Jimmy Olsen, while Ronnie and I just got eating disorders and 1980s fashion senses. So this upcoming year, I’m going to keep my mouth shut around editors, start eating properly and hang around more with that Sabrina kid.

Supergirl: I’d like to tell my artists that it gets really cold with a bare midriff and tiny skirt all the time.

Batman: Hhh. 2007 will be the same as 2006. Keep Gotham free of the vermin that preys on the weak, keep the Justice League in line every now and again, and spend the rest of the time perfecting my Wii technique so that I can finally kick Alfred’s ass on Tony Hawk’s Downhill Jam.

Storm: Produce an heir to the throne, re-assertiveness training.

Marvel Universe Stamford, Connecticut: Launch new city slogan: Stamford – Not As Radioactive As We Were A Few Months Ago.

DC Universe Stamford, Connecticut: Keep up official “Don’t get any ideas from Marvel, please” letter-writing campaign.

Mark Waid: Actually, DC doesn’t have a Stamford, Connecticut. As Bob Rozakis wrote in a mid-70s edition of his “Ask The Answer Man” column from the DC Comics’ Daily Planet page, Connecticut is actually home to Green Arrow’s hometown of Star City, and Star occupies the same geographical space on DC Earth as Stamford does in the real world. One of the scenes from Kurt Busiek and George Perez’s JLA/Avengers crossover a few years ago went into this in greater detail, but it had to be cut for space. In my upcoming series The Brave And The Bold, George has asked that I put in a scene that’d allow him to draw the entire populace of Star City reading the first issue of Civil War and shaking their heads in disbelief, and I decided to use that as a chance to reintroduce the world to Ultraa, The Multi-Alien, who’ll finally explain what 52 actually means… Oh, wait, this was supposed to be about resolutions, wasn’t it? Okay, in 2007, I really want to be able to stop taking calls from Grant Morrison in the middle of the night because he’s come up with another “really, really great” idea about how to revamp The Haunted Tank by turning them into a group of dead superheroes who use the tank to cross into alternate dimensions and save a new world every issue or something.

Mark Millar: Hey, MM here. I just wanted to say that I finished writing my resolutions two months ago, but McNiven felt a bit of a sniffle and had a liedown, so the earliest you’ll see them is April. But wait until you read them. I really think that I’ve broken through into a whole new level with this, and the end of the third resolution will have you wetting yourselves with joy. I’m more upset than anybody that they couldn’t come out on time, but everyone involved would rather have quality over meeting deadlines. When the collection of all of my resolutions comes out, no-one except the cockroaches will even be alive to remember the delay anyway. Cheers!

Alex Ross: Over the next 12 months, I want to remind everyone why characters like Hal Jordan, Barry Allen and Billy Batson are the greatest white straight fictional characters ever created and, as such, should always be portrayed as slightly overweight men in gaudy outfits. I also want everyone to remember that characters should be true to their creators’ original intentions, something I’ll remind the Disney corporation of in my new miniseries “Mickey Mouse is a steamboat driver and doesn’t run any ‘House of Mouse’, you corpse-defiling bastards.” Happy 1977, everyone!

Dan Didio: 2006 may have started with a CRISIS, but it ended with 52 things to be grateful for. What I want to see in 2007 is the DC Nation rise up with fists and weapons and take this country by force so that every SUPERMAN, WONDER WOMAN and TEEN TITAN will learn to treasure THE NEW FRONTIER that DC is going to be taking them to over the upcoming year, and start to worship me, Dan Didio, as the leader of their NEW GODS. Otherwise, there’ll be a FIRESTORM after I sic my BIRDS OF PREY to mete out my own brand of JUSTICE.

Joe Quesada: This will be the year when I finally expose Mary Jane Parker as the two-timing cheating whore that she so plainly is and Peter will finally see that I’m the only friend he needs. And you can’t do anything about it, fanboys.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 1st, 2007 at 5:46 pm and is filed under Comic Books, Creators. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.