John Byrne says No More Mister Nice Guy:
Things have been getting a bit lax, here in the JBF. Sloppy, even. So, from now on (actually as of yesterday), I’m going to use my Atomic Death Ray Blaster ™ more diligently — and more often. No more cleaning out posts that turn threads into flame wars. I’ll nuke the whole thread, no matter what it is. No more moving threads that get started in the wrong area of the Forum. Again, nuke ‘em! And most of all — when newbies arrive, their leashes are going to be a lot shorter. Continue about your business, citizens.
The board regulars respond in a somewhat sarcastic manner:
“Hmmm. Why not just look down all membership until a one to two page essay is submitted and judged as acceptable by each member. I know it might sound extreme, but when you consider the time saved in nuking threads and posters, it could be worth it.”
“Well, I once started a thread about writing poetry based on JB’s work and it got nuked. That had potential, I tell ya.”
“Thank God! It’s so frustrating when we’re trying to have a nice conversation about how terrible everything is in the comics world today, and how everyone in charge of the companies is doing everything wrong, and suddenly there’s some unscripted drama as people’s ‘personalities’ interact in unpredictable ways! Leave the human element at home, folks – this place ain’t called ‘Byrne Robotics’ for nuthin’, I’d wager! The only unpredictability I like is not knowing if a thread I’ve been following with interest will be suddenly wiped from the record, with no chance to ever refer back to it, because the wrong person said the wrong thing at the wrong time – got to admit I love this idea – it’s like combining comic book talk with Russian Roulette – the added element of uncertainty intrigues me! Some boards just lock threads that have gotten too heated, but that’s an inferior solution sometimes the wrong people make some pretty good points or strike too close to home – locking a thread like that does nothing to erase the stain of an ugly or inconvenient point of view being shared!”
Not that everyone got the memo:
“This has got me thinking that I need to shut up for a good long time and learn strength, because it’s so hard to be civil when there are such complete dicks who like to come to this board. As my first act of strength, I’m not going to mention the first name that comes to mind, even though one has already weighed in on this very thread. Geez, I hate dickheads.”
Already, Byrne’s finger is poised over the big red button…
November 14th, 2006 at 12:23 pm
What would we do with out John Byrne’s antics to entertain us?
November 14th, 2006 at 2:16 pm
Wouldn’t it be really ‘meta’ if Byrne then went ahead and deleted the thread that was about deleting threads? That would be so cool. Yeah.
November 14th, 2006 at 3:11 pm
Graeme does he know you exist? I’m picturing you two running into each other at a con and him trying to nuke you with his imaginary button.
Ten bucks if someone starts a flame war in the thread where they post pictures of beautiful women! C’mon! Do it! Put him to the test!
November 14th, 2006 at 7:57 pm
Be fair. It’s hard work controlling other people’s minds.