Because sometimes, love hurts:
Civil War. It’s been awesome. You’ve had me from the first, buying almost every tie-in because, unlike most crossovers, the vast majority of them have been relevant and solid. You suckered me in, only to grossly offend me.
Did you actually read ‘Choosing Sides’?! Were you aware that there’s a story in it wherein the Marvel Universe crosses over with Guiding Light?!
It’s from a Marvel fan’s MySpace blog, and it’s beautiful. The full thing under the fold, because to edit the swearing for the general audience would be to ruin the whole thing.
An Open Letter To Joe Quesada et al.
Fuck you, man. Seriously. Fuck all of you at Marvel Comics. But especially you, Joe. Fuck. You.
Civil War. It’s been awesome. You’ve had me from the first, buying almost every tie-in because, unlike most crossovers, the vast majority of them have been relevant and solid. You suckered me in, only to grossly offend me.
Did you actually read ‘Choosing Sides’?! Were you aware that there’s a story in it wherein the Marvel Universe crosses over with Guiding Light?! Guiding Fucking Light?! You cocksucker! You literally got down on your knees and took CBS’ cock right between your lips, you whore!
And it gets worse. Not only did this story license out almost all the big name heroes for an 8 page Guiding Light commercial, but it also fucked them up. Not a stitch of it seemed in accordance with current continuity. Spider-Man’s in his old costume, somehow noone knows that Tony Stark is Iron Man, and Eddie Brock is still Venom even though he should be in a fucking hospital bed while Mac Gargan (Scorpion) is bonded to the symbiote.
Then you went and let the writer give a Guiding Light character powers that let her rank among the Avengers?! And she’s carrying over to the show!You’re going to do it! You’re going to strip away any tiny shreds of dignity and legitimacy that the comic world has fought so hard to gather! You’re going to ruin everything… I loved you, and you betrayed me.
I’m disgusted,
Matthew Joel Przasnyski
This is the guy who should be allowed to ask all the questions for Joe Fridays from now on.
October 27th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
JQ is eating this guy’s tears and turning them into purest gold, gold!
October 27th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
Yes, this guy and people like him should be asking Joey Q the questions instead of the palsy softballs Brady lofts each week.
Last Week’s Joe Friday had almost zero content. Go check it out. It’s all questions about upcoming projects with “no comments” after it.
“Choosing Sides” would’ve been better titled as “Civil War: Ca$h Grab”.
October 27th, 2006 at 2:24 pm
Gorky, you’re so…cynical…
October 27th, 2006 at 2:29 pm
He’s right, though: the continuity problems are REALLY glaring…Cap and Wolverine are still on the Avengers and everything.
I mean, maybe you could argue that this takes place before the Civil War kicks off, but it’s certainly presented as if it’s supposed to be seamlessly read within the whole “Choosing Sides” framework.
Then again, the whole damn book is just one big ad for Marvel’s next batch of “big” books, just like BRAVE NEW WORLD was for DC, so what the hell. You’d think they could’ve at least sprung to make it $1 like DC did–if all you’re going to do is pitch to us, at least cut us a break on the price.
October 27th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Wait. It’s an eight-page crossover with a TV soap and people are fussing about whether it’s in continuity?
October 27th, 2006 at 2:37 pm
I would like to see this guy saying the same things with Quesada standing right in front of him.
October 27th, 2006 at 2:37 pm
This guy is absolutely right. The very best way to introduce new readers to comics they’ve never read isn’t to stack the deck with recognizable and relateable characters, it’s to stuff the book with continuity references, injokes, and other things like that.
Wait. No… no, that isn’t right at all, is it?
October 27th, 2006 at 2:41 pm
I think that the Marvel cash grab book would be Anita Blake.
I missed this story in my copy… Wait I missed the Guiding Light tale because I was bewildered by the Howard the Duck story goodness to go on.
October 27th, 2006 at 2:46 pm
Ummm… am I the only one that thought this guy was joking? I mean come on, he was wasn’t he.
That being said, the back-up in this book did seem really odd. It didn’t feel like a back-up cross-over, it felt like just another one of the stories in the book. It is a little strange when you think about it.
October 27th, 2006 at 2:51 pm
I think superheroes lost their dignity and legitimacy somewhere around… oh wait, they never had any.
October 27th, 2006 at 3:12 pm
Marvel will finally go bankrupt when their fans realize there are better comics… Oh, wait, they already went bankrupt.
Marvel is a liscencing company that also makes comics. Stuff like this is business as usual. It’s like asking whether or not the Spider-Man ballon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade is canon or not. (It’s not btw, it’s toatlly off-scale)
October 27th, 2006 at 3:17 pm
How DARE they promote a soap opera!!!
Technichally the 8 page story isn’t PART of Choosing sides, but an added promotional story put into many of Marvel’s books over the next few weeks.
But what’s the big deal with cross promoting a soap opera? Is this guy afraid he’s going to get “girl cooties” or something?
October 27th, 2006 at 3:18 pm
The Guiding Light isn’t really part of the Choosing Sides oneshot : it’s an advert back-up that has also been put into other titles (for exemple, Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane). It has absolutely nothing to do with Civil War.
But yes, it wasn’t very good.
October 27th, 2006 at 3:33 pm
I think we all knew what it was, I think the commentary was that it didn’t seem like a back-up as the book itself was a compilation of short stories.
I don’t think anyone is saying anything negative regarding the cross-over or the issue itself. As for the cross-over, just about as decent as a little 8-pager like that, where you had to introduce each and every character to the other audience, had any chance of being.
October 27th, 2006 at 3:41 pm
Is that issue flying off the shelves because of new readers brought in by the cross over?
October 27th, 2006 at 3:55 pm
It may have been an ad like Brave New World, but it was much better written and drawn than that 80 page slog. The Howard story was brilliant, the USAgent story was hilarious. Ironically it’s my favorite CW tie-in so far.
October 27th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
Is it wrong for me to wish this guy’s post could be turned into a YTMND like the dude who shot himself last year and left a note to call the cops on his MySpace page beforehand?
October 27th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
“YTMND”? Is that some kind of Ninja Turtle thing?
October 27th, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Whoa, Howard the Duck is in this? I may have to pick it up.
October 27th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
eh, who cares, the Guiding Light story is really for new people and not the hardcore continuity nut. Not for you, then don’t read it or worry about it.
October 27th, 2006 at 4:40 pm
The good news is, I thought Eddie Brock was dead.
October 27th, 2006 at 6:45 pm
“That being said, the back-up in this book did seem really odd. It didn’t feel like a back-up cross-over, it felt like just another one of the stories in the book.”
Yah, that’s the point I was getting at–and every other time they’ve done something like this, say for example when Spidey teamed up with Jay Leno, it was really obvious and distinct from the main attraction. The anthology nature of Choosing Sides helped create a certain amount of confusion in that regard. I mean, I can think through the whole “it’s a backup promo I just hadn’t seen in other titles” explanation, but I shouldn’t HAVE to figure out which parts of the comic are in-continuity promo material and which are OOC promo material.
Ty Templeton’s SCRIPT for Howard the Duck was awesome (I love how he even threw in the jab about not being able to smoke cigars anymore), but the artwork was terrible.
“The very best way to introduce new readers to comics they’ve never read isn’t to stack the deck with recognizable and relateable characters, it’s to stuff the book with continuity references, injokes, and other things like that.”
Fair enough…but then you don’t stick the feature in a book that exists solely to provide continuity lead-ins and patches.
Still, if they really wanted to mess with fanboy’s heads, they could’ve stuck this in the back of Punisher War Journal. If it had shipped on time.
October 27th, 2006 at 7:14 pm
Is it sad that the way this guy describes the Guiding Light crossover, that sounds more like the Marvel Universe I want to read than the Civil War one?
It’s sad, isn’t it? I knew it.
October 27th, 2006 at 7:45 pm
Anyone who thinks a crossover with Guiding Light is going to bring in new readers…. Well, let’s just say I wouldn’t mind trying some of what they’re smoking…
October 27th, 2006 at 8:43 pm
Not since Marlanea(sp?) was possesed by the Devil and trew Stefano off the balcony has there been such weirdness in soaps of American stripe.
I passed the title because of price and the fact that it was a reviewed as more commercials for future projects than an honest to goodness story.
Still, minus the profanity and this was a cry for better product from a fan. His opinion is worth the same as yours out there reading this.
And yes the questions could be a bit more hard hitting at times for Ouesada pimps comics Fridays.
October 27th, 2006 at 10:43 pm
Wait a Marvel fan has a website that posts more then just “DC Sucks” and “Marvel Rules?”
But, then I read Dan’s post. DC had nothing to do with this, but never let an oppurtunity pass to rip them.
October 28th, 2006 at 12:08 am
I was not the first person who made the Chossing Sides/Brave New World comparison. But yeah, I consider Marvel’s superhero output to be vastly superior to DC’s. I’ve made no secret of that.
October 28th, 2006 at 4:39 am
And was it me or was this week’s Joe Friday an unofficial LITG edition?
October 28th, 2006 at 8:40 am
So I’m not the only one who’s appaled by some of the fans questions that are presented to Quesada?
October 28th, 2006 at 9:01 am
I find the venom at the Guiding Light Crossover really peculiar. Yeah, there were a host of issues about it that made it not so great (the art seemed rushed, the continuity issues, lame jokes & dialogue), but as a retailer I appreciate Marvel trying to get new people in the door. I’ve had customers calling and asking when the comics with the Guiding Light stuff is coming out. Most of them, if I remember the list correctly, are Marvel flip-magazines and Marvel Adventures stuff, but it does make a little sense to make to add a Civil War title, especially this one, as someone might go “Hey, this looks interesting. Where can I find more?” Or, maybe, a sales clerk would suggest Civil War to this new customer that’s come in just to get this comic. Why get mad just because the crossover exists? I understand the cynicism about how this will bring in new people, but I’m watching it happen and glad they are trying *something* to bring in folks and help my bottom line instead of actively threatening it (because *surprise* the casual new readers of Civil War have already started to drift away). It’s like people that get mad because there’s “filth” and “depravity” on the television. If you don’t like it, don’t watch the show. If you don’t like the Guiding Light crossover, don’t watch the show and ignore the backup. I doubt this will ever be referenced again. It’s silly to get mad at it just because it exists.
October 28th, 2006 at 9:57 am
“because *surprise* the casual new readers of Civil War have already started to drift away”
Really? There’s always a chance they’ll come around for the trade no?
“So I’m not the only one who’s appaled by some of the fans questions that are presented to Quesada? ”
Is “appaled” really the word you wanted to use? It seems like an odd one to use for this.
October 28th, 2006 at 2:05 pm
Really THIS is the thing this guy goes off on? After everything in Civil War he chooses to complain about the Guiding Light crossover? Who cares?! It’s not like that story was targeted for him. It’s for the people reading all the Civil War books looking for something else close to the mainstream to get addicted to.
I wanna see Rich Johnston conducting the interview on Joe Friday’s. Except Joe would never agree to that.
Oh and on the dignity question, please. When in the long incredible history of comics have they really had a sense of dignity? Shoot Stan Lee’s busy lampooning his own company for the last month. Go to Superdickery.com and tell me that THIS is the lowest they can go. Watch Batman and Robin or Captain America or any of the other crappy comic movies and tell me they don’t sell out. Get a grip, this is art in a business world.
October 28th, 2006 at 7:39 pm
“It’s still real to me, dammit!”
October 29th, 2006 at 11:11 am
I’m still trying to reconcile that Superman/He-Man team-up.
October 30th, 2006 at 10:30 am
There’s that word again. “Legitimacy.” Am I the only one who thinks that the “legitimacy” of comics is just pure bull****? I mean, what makes something legitimate? Taking it seriously? Not making fun of it? Being “cool”? Screw that. Just write good stories. If they were created for legitimacy and the “mainstream,” I’d lose interest in them. Legitimacy is just another example of caring too much about what other people think. Screw other people. I’ve got news for you goofy guys struggling to legitimize comics: They’re *already* legitimate, because *you* like them. Isn’t that enough?
October 30th, 2006 at 3:55 pm
I don’t have a problem with the cross-over.