Don MacPherson takes a break from reviewing comics to show us at what might be happening at your hometown Civil War Recruitment Office:
Recruitment Officer #1: Yes! And he needs strapping young men such as yourself in the war against Captain America’s Secret Avengers.
Man: Cap? He’s cool, too.
Recruitment Officer #2: Oh, no. He’s a bad man who must be stopped.
Recruitment Officer #1: You see, Timmy…
Man: My name’s Julian.
Recruitment Officer #1: Timmy, Captain America and some other superhumans have opted to violate the law — the Superhuman Registration Act. You see, Davey…
Recruitment Officer #1: Davey, men and women with super-powers are like walking weapons of mass destruction, and the government needs to know who they are, what they do and who they vote for. That way, they can tell the good guys from the bad guys. The government gives the good guys jobs and the bad guys prison cells. Since Cap and company don’t want to register, they’re automatically the bad guys.
Recruitment Officer #2: And the government needs handsome, heterosexual boys like you to spank them! [produces riding crop and smacks her desk]
On the plus side, it is good to see Happy and Pepper working again.