[* With apologies to Graeme, of course.]
Yesterday we linked to Tuesday Morning Quarterback, the erudite sports column which occasionally ventures into geekland, because it was just now getting around to wondering about superhero biology. Today, in its weekly roundup of reader animadversion, the aftermath begins:
Malan Blum of Calgary, Alberta asks of the X-Men, “If Professor Xavier’s abilities are produced by mutated genes and he teleported his consciousness into another person’s body, how could he retain his powers?” Malan, I am sure your question will not be answered in the next sequel. The next sequel is apparently going to be mainly about Wolverine in any case. Maybe about his sensitive side.
Thomas Lamme of Houston adds, “In ‘Batman Begins,’ the final story line hinges on the Caped Crusader’s ability to stop a machine that is vaporizing Gotham City’s water supply by disrupting the molecular structure of water. Yet all the people around, who are 60 percent water, are unaffected by the sinister machine. How did this story line make it through an entire production of the movie without somebody asking the obvious question?”
Finally, following up on last week’s column,
TMQ noted that in the Stargate shows, the Air Force has built four enormous faster-than-light starships using plans supplied by friendly aliens. I scoffed that this was impossible from a financial standpoint: “Hundreds of billions of dollars would be involved, and not even Congress could lose track of that much money.” Tom Hitchcock of Costa Mesa, Calif. counters, “It has been shown that our government can lose hundreds of billions of dollars.” He points out that at this 2001 press conference, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said the Pentagon could not account for $2.3 trillion in past spending.
Kind of puts the “where’s my jetpack?” complaints in a new light, doesn’t it?